Hey there, new mom friend!
It’s Sarah here, the mom of Ethan — you know, the little guy with the trach and congenital heart disease (CHD). I’m thrilled that our kids are getting together for a playdate, whether we set it up or your little one invited him. Playdates are such a joy, right? Or maybe it’s just the wine that makes it delightful! Either way, I can’t wait.
Ethan has spent a significant amount of time in the hospital. He’s endured countless pokes and procedures, often acting more like a patient than a baby. So, being able to enjoy playdates with him is incredible. My husband and I have longed for this moment, dreaming of the day we could bring him home and let him explore the world outside those hospital walls.
But I do have a slightly personal question to ask you: Is your child vaccinated?
Ah, the “vaccine” topic — a subject as charged as any political debate. Many opt to keep this conversation private, believing it’s a personal decision that solely impacts their family. But for us, it’s a matter of concern.
Ethan was born full-term, but he wasn’t exactly ready for life outside the womb. He weighed just 5 pounds at birth, far below the growth curve. Along with that, he faced numerous challenges: a jaw that was too small, a heart with defects, and an incomplete digestive system. Despite these hurdles, we approached them with as much strength as we could.
Ethan underwent a tracheostomy, bowel resection, and open-heart surgery all before he turned four months. During that time, we fought off infections and illnesses with powerful antibiotics that stressed his tiny system in ways no baby should have to endure.
We had planned to vaccinate Ethan. My husband and I researched thoroughly, understanding both the risks and benefits of vaccinations. We know that preventing diseases is crucial, especially since we’ve witnessed the consequences of those we cannot prevent. However, in a hospital setting, vaccines sometimes take a backseat to urgent medical needs. When faced with a choice between “life-saving surgery” and “hepatitis B shot,” it’s understandable why one would be prioritized over the other. Plus, Ethan’s immune system, already weakened from his hospital stays, isn’t ready to handle vaccinations just yet.
We have a plan with his doctors to catch him up eventually, but that will take time. In the meantime, he remains vulnerable to preventable diseases.
I often hear the argument that parents know their children best and can decide what’s necessary for them. If their child has no underlying health issues, why should they vaccinate? Why not let nature take its course? But think of Ethan and the thousands of children like him, born with conditions like congenital heart disease or undergoing cancer treatment, or those with compromised immune systems. Many of them look like any other child, but they face serious risks.
When these kids get sick, it’s not just a case of bed rest and soup. It can lead to hospital visits, oxygen machines, and a slew of antibiotics that might not even work. It’s continuous monitoring, anxiety, and developmental setbacks. For some, it could even mean a hospital stay they won’t come home from.
I understand if my request for you to vaccinate your child feels pushy or overbearing. But perhaps it’s simply one mom asking another for support, so her child can enjoy daycare, school, or the playground without fear. It’s about giving Ethan a chance at a childhood free from the confines of the hospital.
I hope my question doesn’t offend you. I hope it encourages reflection on your own choices. And by the way, I brought two bottles of white wine!
Warmly,
Sarah