ADHD Is a Valid Medical Diagnosis That Shouldn’t Be a Source of Shame

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I’m furious. Well, maybe “furious” is too strong a word. I’m exasperated. No, that doesn’t quite capture it either. I’m filled with a mix of anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment, and disbelief. This past week, these conflicting emotions have boiled over. I feel like I’m on fire, and it’s not just the sweltering summer heat that’s fueling the flames. Within just a week, I’ve encountered at least seven articles about childhood ADHD, and most of them left me feeling tense and upset. Many touched on the sense of shame—both for parents and children—linked to this diagnosis.

These articles often conveyed a sense of bravery, portraying the authors as courageous for openly discussing their child’s ADHD or their choice to use medication. Don’t get me wrong; these parents are indeed brave for sharing their stories in the vast realm of the internet, but they shouldn’t have to be. It shouldn’t be so difficult to talk about a legitimate medical diagnosis that has real implications.

The stigma surrounding ADHD is astonishing. Just four letters can silence parents, making them feel like they must keep their child’s condition a secret—as if it were a family shame rather than a fact of life. My son is 6 years old, and he has a medical diagnosis of ADHD. This condition manifests as impulsivity, difficulty waiting for his turn, interrupting others, and acting without considering the consequences—like running into the street without looking or jumping from high places without regard for safety. And that’s just scratching the surface.

Can we acknowledge the recklessness that often accompanies this condition? I prefer not to expose my son’s challenges to the world, but this isn’t about shame; it’s just reality. He has brown hair, he loves pasta, he has ADHD, and he has a younger sister. All of these are simply facts. Would the narrative change if I mentioned he has asthma instead of ADHD?

I refuse to feel embarrassed about my son’s neurobiological condition. He was born this way, and I will do everything I can to ensure he embraces who he is without shame.

In the 1990s, ADHD emerged as a popular diagnosis for active children, especially boys. With the rise of medications like Adderall and Ritalin, it became a trendy label, often misapplied. Children labeled as “behavior problems” in school were frequently deemed to have ADHD and prescribed medication to conform. Over time, the consequences of over-diagnosis became apparent, leading to skepticism about whether ADHD even existed. Many parents shared horror stories about how these medications affected their children, leading to a backlash against ADHD diagnoses.

As a result, many individuals overlooked the reality that ADHD is a genuine disorder with serious challenges. Children who truly have ADHD are left with parents who may not recognize the signs and characteristics, often told that their child will simply outgrow the behavior. They hear comments like, “All kids have energy,” or “You just need to discipline better,” or the classic, “Boys will be boys.” This can cause parents to doubt their instincts and concerns about their child’s behavior.

Living with ADHD can be profoundly challenging, yet unless you are experiencing it firsthand, it’s difficult to understand its impact on daily family life. It’s simpler to label a child as defiant than to recognize the complexities of their diagnosis. Many have seen a child at the playground acting out and thought, “What a terrible parent. She can’t control her child.” But consider this: does she really want her child to behave this way? Has she not tried every strategy possible to help them manage their impulses?

It’s crucial to break free from the stigma surrounding ADHD. This diagnosis is just as valid as any other medical condition, like diabetes. It’s not fair to compare the two, but the potential long-term effects of ADHD—such as social anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem—are significant. These challenges can affect a child’s ability to maintain friendships and succeed in life.

Maybe my son will navigate life without these adverse effects. I will do everything in my power to facilitate that outcome. However, acknowledgment of ADHD and openness to appropriate treatment options are essential for making that possible.

I recognize that many parents face medical diagnoses that are far more daunting than ADHD, and I have tremendous respect for those families. However, raising a child with ADHD comes with its own unique hurdles. It can be incredibly isolating for both the child and the family. While I often see parents seeking advice on various medical issues, I rarely see discussions about ADHD treatments or behavioral strategies.

Let’s stop hiding and start helping one another.

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In summary, ADHD is a legitimate medical diagnosis that should not be treated as a source of shame. It is essential for parents to recognize the reality of this condition and seek the necessary support and treatment. By doing so, we can create a more understanding and accepting environment for families dealing with ADHD.