“Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd for parents to kiss their children on the lips?” I genuinely asked my partner during my first pregnancy. To me, it seemed straightforward: lips are for romantic partners, end of discussion. Little did I know, there was an entirely different perspective. The thought of kissing my child on the lips felt unimaginable to me.
“My plan is to kiss our kids on the lips,” he replied, viewing it as a perfectly normal way to express love. I figured my husband must come from a family that was particularly affectionate, so I decided to consult some of my mom friends for their take on the matter.
As it turns out, I was the odd one out. Many parents happily share kisses with their kids on the lips. Perhaps it’s because my family isn’t particularly touchy-feely. While I do hug my parents when we’re together, and occasionally annoy my mom by climbing into her lap, affection wasn’t a big part of our family dynamic. My dad has kissed me on the cheek maybe a handful of times, and I’ve always been comfortable with that. I thought we were on the more affectionate side of the spectrum.
Although I never believed there was anything inherently wrong with kissing children on the lips, I hadn’t been exposed to it, making it hard for me to visualize it as a normal expression of love. However, becoming a mother often prompts you to reevaluate your beliefs and make choices about how to express love to your children.
Then came the day my daughter was born—healthy, joyful, and full of cuddles. I cherished rocking her, hugging her, and showering her with kisses on her cheeks, the top of her head, and her tiny toes. Yet, kissing her on the lips still felt strange to me. That is, until she started initiating the kisses.
Before I knew it, the dynamics shifted in a whirlwind, as they often do in the journey of first-time motherhood. Just shy of her first birthday, my daughter was crawling and laughing, a happy little being. One day, in a moment of independence, she crawled over to me while I was on the floor folding cloth diapers. With a giggle, she climbed up my leg and, leaning in, planted a big, drooly kiss right on my lips.
This moment became etched in my memory as the first time she expressed affection in that way. Until then, I hadn’t kissed her on the lips, and I thought we were both fine with that arrangement. But in that instant, she decided that the level of affection we shared wasn’t enough for her. She wanted to show me love in her own way, which included kisses right on the mouth.
In that moment, my perception shifted. It was one of many instances in motherhood where my child’s actions transformed my long-held beliefs. She turned my worldview upside down, and when the dust settled, I became a mom who embraced kissing my children on the lips. I realized there was nothing peculiar about it. While I would never compel my kids to show affection they weren’t comfortable with, kissing each other became a natural expression of our love.
Today, that joyful, drooly baby is now 5, and her little brother is 4. I kiss both of them on the lips regularly, and none of us find it strange. If this seems odd to you, I completely understand; everyone sets their own boundaries for personal reasons. And if it feels perfectly normal to you, I get that too—now.
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In summary, my views on kissing my kids on the lips shifted dramatically after my daughter initiated that affection. Now, it’s a natural part of our family’s way of expressing love, and I embrace it wholeheartedly.