One of the biggest disappointments of my childhood was that both of my sets of grandparents lived over 1,000 miles away from me. Looking back, I’m amazed at how, even before the days of email and video calls, I was able to maintain meaningful relationships with them that shaped who I am today. I remember waiting until after 7 p.m. to call them, mindful of the cheaper long-distance rates and the time-zone differences. I cherished those conversations with my grandma, and she valued them just as much.
With all my grandparents now gone, I often reflect on those connections. I sometimes wish I could tap into their wisdom now that I’m an adult and a parent. I think about how much joy it would bring them to see the person I’ve become.
Fortunately, I still engage with many grandparents—just not my own. As a geriatric psychotherapist, I work with older adults in their homes. Social isolation, anxiety, and depression are common issues in this age group, providing a sobering look at what our golden years could entail.
I frequently engage my clients in conversations about their grandchildren, learning about the nature of their relationships. While some families are close-knit, many grandparents feel estranged from their grandkids, even when they live nearby. It makes me wonder if as parents, we are failing to nurture these vital connections. It’s not enough to invite grandparents to watch their grandchildren play sports or perform in school events; genuine connections require more effort.
I often think about how much I would have missed if my parents hadn’t encouraged me to make those long-distance calls or write letters. When I spent summers with my grandma, I never wanted those moments to end. We’d indulge in strawberry shortcake for dinner, participate in library reading programs, and tackle crossword puzzles together. I fondly remember trying to convince her to move closer to me.
Reflecting on our bond, it’s clear that even in her 90s, she remained an engaging and relevant figure in my life, partly because I was deeply invested in our relationship. The time we spent together and our ongoing communication kept our connection alive. She knew me well, beyond just being a grandparent, and I felt the same about her.
In today’s world, we have countless tools at our disposal to strengthen the relationships between our children and their grandparents. Yet, age segregation is more prominent than ever, leading to less interaction across generations. This limits our ability to learn from those with rich life experiences. One of my greatest joys was being known as “Nana’s favorite,” and I want my children to experience that same closeness with my parents. It benefits everyone and fosters a stronger sense of community.
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In summary, it’s crucial to foster the bonds between grandparents and grandchildren, as these relationships enrich our lives and create lasting memories. Despite modern technology’s conveniences, it’s our efforts that truly forge meaningful connections.