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We Are Distributing Trophies and Awards Like Candy, and It’s Getting Out of Hand
I adore my children and genuinely believe they are the most fantastic beings to ever grace this planet. However, I don’t think they deserve trophies just for showing up to soccer practice on time.
Medals shouldn’t be handed out for merely achieving age-appropriate milestones — like receiving a ribbon for being five or a medal for participating in the orchestra they actually play in. I once attended an awards ceremony where my child received a certificate simply because the teacher noticed him being nice to a friend on one occasion. Is this really the standard we’re establishing for our kids? That they expect recognition for simple acts of kindness? No wonder my son gives me a look of disbelief when I ask him to clean his room; he’s received an award for being nice to a friend once.
Why set such unrealistic expectations? The adult world doesn’t shower us with awards for every little thing. Personally, I’d prefer cash over a trophy any day. Nice plaques are great, but could you throw in a gift card to Target? I don’t get a medal for cleaning the bathroom or surviving a grocery trip with two kids, even though I think I deserve one. And the whole dinner preparation? The only reward I get is the sound of whining about the meal. No trophies in sight.
I may be in the minority, but I also believe we don’t need a graduation ceremony for every tiny milestone our kids reach. I certainly don’t remember graduating from preschool, kindergarten, fifth grade, junior high, and then high school. Do we really need that? Is it just an excuse to gather, eat cookies, and praise our kids? I’d much rather skip the lengthy ceremony, especially when I’m desperately hoping my daughter doesn’t pick her nose in front of a crowd. Can’t she see everyone is watching?
Kids now have a sense of entitlement. They expect stickers at every store they visit and awards at every event they attend, as well as praise for any normal human interaction. Why? Because that’s the precedent we’ve set. Stickers end up on my backside as they find it funny, and all the medals and trophies? They get tossed in the toy bin, collecting dust and driving me crazy. Over time, these awards lose all meaning. If they do hold value, it’s often just for a fleeting moment of excitement before they clutter my home, leaving my kids unsure of why they received them in the first place.
Yes, our children have unique talents, and there are moments when they truly earn recognition through hard work and effort. Celebrating those achievements is important, but it’s become excessive. In our quest to make everyone feel special, we risk devaluing the significance of true accomplishments.
Let’s focus on teaching them to be kind, decent individuals. They shouldn’t expect accolades for simply doing what’s expected. That creates an unhealthy reliance on external validation. We should encourage intrinsic motivation; they should act because they enjoy it or because it’s the right thing to do. Reserve awards for significant achievements, like a Nobel Prize, which at least comes with a million bucks!
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In summary, while it’s wonderful to celebrate our children’s achievements, we must be cautious not to overdo it. Genuine accomplishments deserve recognition, but we should teach our kids the value of intrinsic rewards over external validation.