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No, We’re Not Anxious About The Exchange Program, And Please Stop Asking
“Are you worried?” is the question we keep hearing from people when they find out our 13-year-old son is headed to France for two weeks this summer. “With all the…” and they hesitate, trying to find a diplomatic way to mention “gun violence” while hinting at their concerns about terrorism—clearly a topic suited for casual chats at Saturday soccer games.
We, however, pause only to think, “Well, duh.” And the good news is, that phrase translates universally. Sure, we worry about our son every day—when he hops on the bus, when he navigates the sharp hooks for fishing, when he runs down the stairs, and when he walks home from a friend’s house. The truth is, we all live with a constant, low-level anxiety.
But are we anxious about sending him overseas because of all the…? Well, yes, in the same way we might worry about getting hit by lightning or encountering a Portuguese man o’ war while swimming. (Trust me, I’m 41 and those jellyfish are terrifying.) Yet he’s going anyway, because it would be utterly ridiculous to think that keeping him in the safety of America is the best way to protect him from the dangers of the world.
We signed him up for the exchange program for two main reasons: 1) the allure of summer in France, and 2) our son’s enthusiasm. When his amazing French teacher presented the opportunity, he was all in—literally leaving us speechless. Our son is far braver and more adventurous than I ever was at his age. This new experience and his excitement pushed us to sign the papers faster than we could process the idea of him visiting a foreign country.
People ask if we’re scared, but honestly, we’re more envious. He’ll be staying in a quaint town nestled in the Alps, which looks like a postcard of the ideal French village—sidewalks adorned with clanging café tables, flags hanging from winding streets, all set against snow-capped mountains. His school is small and tight-knit, with kids who have been friends since kindergarten. His host family is a delightful mix of children who speak only a handful of English words, and we hope they’ll see our son as the charming, slightly awkward seventh-grader he is.
Of course, we’ll be a bundle of nerves all the way to the airport. And while he’s not a seasoned adventurer seeking thrills, I can imagine that France has its own version of Minecraft. Nevertheless, he’s going, and we hope this experience plants the seeds of understanding and empathy in him, countering the ignorance and fear that often dominate conversations among parents. (“Don’t they have issues with immigration?” a woman I barely know asked me, somehow tying the current political climate into our son’s school exchange.)
In our own childhoods, we lacked nothing essential, but traveling abroad wasn’t something we were offered. My mom preferred staying close to home, all out of love—but it limited our worldview. We hope this journey teaches our son that the world is vast and accessible, especially for those fortunate enough to be born in a privileged country. Fear is often just ignorance in disguise. Maybe one day, we’ll even consider sending his younger brother on a similar adventure.
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In summary, while concerns about safety are natural, it’s essential to recognize the value of experiences that broaden our children’s horizons. Embracing opportunities for adventure can help cultivate understanding and combat fear.