I Stopped Handling My Family’s Laundry (And I Have No Intention of Picking It Up Again)

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The renowned actor Ed Asner once said, “Raising children is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.” He must have been envisioning the laundry room—the ultimate battleground where well-meaning parents morph into relentless warriors striving for victory.

The sight of an empty laundry basket is blissful, offering a brief moment of complete satisfaction. But with two teenagers in the house, those moments are as rare as finding a unicorn in the woods. The volume of dirty clothes produced by individuals aged 13 to 18 is astonishing. The basket rarely stays empty for more than an hour or so, and only if laundry cycles are perfectly timed with the kids’ absences—like when they’re at school, practice, or work.

It’s not widely recognized, but kids seem to make an unspoken commitment when they hit puberty:

  1. If an outfit doesn’t work out after trying it on, it must be washed.
  2. Wet towels? They belong in a damp crumple at the bottom of the laundry basket.
  3. Pajamas cannot be worn two nights in a row.
  4. Coats require washing twice a week.
  5. Anything that doesn’t fit in a drawer or closet should go straight into the laundry basket.

My husband, a laundry enthusiast, means well, but he doesn’t grasp that waiting until Saturday—when he’s free—to do laundry would lead to clothes spilling from the washroom to the hallway and even into the foyer.

As you might suspect, laundry has never been on my list of favorite things to do. However, since I work from home, most of the laundry duties have fallen on my shoulders. Recently, I hit my limit. After finishing four loads of laundry earlier in the day, I returned to find the basket overflowing that evening.

I was frustrated, irritable, and downright fed up with laundry. Never mind folding it! This wasn’t my responsibility. I had houses to sell, novels to write, meals to cook, walks to take, countless kids’ games to attend, and books to read. I was not compensated for doing laundry, nor did I derive any emotional fulfillment from it.

Enough was enough. So, I decided to take action. I headed to Target’s home goods section and bought four hampers. Then, I called a family meeting and declared that I would no longer do laundry—ever again. My husband supported my decision, but my daughter complained, arguing it was unfair since I had done her brother’s laundry for 17 years, while she had only benefited for 14. My son groaned and retreated to his room. I cheerfully placed my new hampers in my closet—at first feeling guilty as they sat empty for a couple of days.

Some friends thought I was being unreasonable. “The kids are too busy; they won’t manage laundry,” one said. Another chuckled, thinking my plan wouldn’t last. Yet other women looked at me in disbelief and admiration. Could it actually work?

Letting go of any obsessive tendencies was crucial for this plan to work. I like things tidy, so this was a challenge for me. But ultimately, it was surprisingly easy to stop doing the laundry. The trick was simply closing the doors to my kids’ rooms.

Eight weeks have passed since my proclamation of independence from laundry. How have things turned out? I’m only doing my own laundry now. Slowly but surely, my kids are figuring out their own laundry habits. My son has transitioned from leaving clean clothes in the dryer to tossing them on his floor, creating more ironing for himself (and I’m definitely not doing that). My daughter’s skills have improved drastically; she now folds her clothes and puts them away instead of leaving them on her bed.

My husband enjoys doing his laundry every Sunday, and I’ve even had to buy more underwear for myself. This battle has been won! I may even be achieving legendary status among my friends, with one texting me a Happy Mother’s Day message along with a note about buying hampers for her whole family.

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In summary, after years of doing laundry for my family, I finally took a stand, and it has transformed our household dynamics. The kids are taking ownership of their laundry, and I’ve found a newfound freedom, marking my victory in the ongoing battle of household chores.