“Hey, Mom,” my nearly-teen son says as he strolls in from soccer practice.
His deepening voice still catches me off guard. I look up and momentarily feel like I’m facing a stranger. In many ways, he is a stranger. Gone is the bubbly, blonde little boy who used to burst through the door with a cheeky grin, bright blue eyes, and enormous hugs. Now, it’s a laid-back young man who enters rooms in a slow, distracted way. His smile isn’t as effortless anymore, and soon those sparkling blue eyes will be looking down at me.
With every inch he grows, I can’t help but feel he’s drifting further away. Yet, I refuse to keep a tally of the summers left before he’s off into the world.
I recognize that such sentiments come from a good place. I always nod in appreciation when an older woman at the store or a restaurant admires my children and says wistfully, “Enjoy them while you can. They’ll grow up faster than you think.” It’s true that sometimes we, as parents, let stress overshadow the joy, taking these fleeting moments for granted.
However, the constant reminders of how quickly childhood slips away create a sense of urgency that can sabotage our ability to truly appreciate the sweetness of motherhood. Believe me, I feel the swift passage of time as each school year ends more rapidly than the last. I want to heed the call to slow down time, but I know that resisting the march of days is a battle I’ll never win.
I refuse to live in a state of fear and anxiety. I don’t want to exhaust myself fighting against the natural flow of time, leaving me too drained to enjoy the present. I don’t want to resent my children’s growth. Most importantly, I don’t want to hold them back. Their futures are brimming with potential, and I can see that already.
My hope is that when our last summer together arrives, they will eagerly step into the world, hearts full of dreams. There should be no hesitation about moving on from me. Yes, tears will flow and my heart will ache as I watch them go. But in that moment, I will still be their mother, and our bond will endure. They will return, bringing new people into our lives—partners, children, and more to love.
So, for now, I won’t dwell on how many summers are left. Instead, I will cherish each one as it comes.
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Summary:
In this reflection, a mother acknowledges the bittersweet nature of watching her children grow up. Rather than counting the summers left, she chooses to embrace each moment without letting anxiety overshadow the joys of motherhood. Her hope is that her children will step confidently into their futures while maintaining their enduring bond.