My partner, Jake, is quite the hairy fellow. He has an impressive amount of fur on his chest, back, and arms (not to mention the lumberjack beard that I sometimes wish he would grow out even more). Over the 13 years we’ve been together, his body hair has increased significantly. I still remember teasing him about his chest hair, which was barely there back when we first started dating. Let’s just say it had a vague resemblance to the state of Florida.
Fast forward to today, and that once-lone Florida patch has transformed into a full-blown furry landscape. He affectionately calls it his “pelt.” While it’s not as crazy as it sounds, there’s definitely a hefty amount of hair. The same goes for his lower arms. And his back? Well, what started as a couple of patches in his early 20s has now spread to cover most of his upper back and shoulders. At this rate, by the time he turns 50, he might as well be a bear.
Here’s the catch: with all this fur comes a pesky problem. His hairs often misbehave and instead of growing upward like they should, they decide to grow sideways into his skin. This leads to swelling, bacteria, and eventually a whitehead. If it’s on his chest, he can usually handle it. But when it’s on his back? That’s where I come in.
I first took on this role during our dating days when I spotted a monstrous whitehead—well, more of a yellowish abomination—on his shoulder. It felt like it was staring at me, taunting me, daring me to do something about it.
“Um, you have a giant zit on your back,” I pointed out.
He was embarrassed, but I offered to take care of it. With a mix of curiosity and dread, he turned around and braced himself. As I dug in with my thumbnails, I could tell he felt a bit of pain, but he never squealed. Instead, he just let out a slight yelp, which to me was a sign that I was doing my job right.
From that day forward, I became the designated pimple popper for his back. In our younger years, there were plenty of opportunities since his hair was still settling. I’d often have him lie down on his stomach while I took care of the tiny nuisances on his sides and the bigger ones on his shoulder blades. It may not have been romantic, but there was a strange satisfaction in it.
As the years went by, Jake’s back acne calmed down, much to our relief. However, now the tables have turned. I’ve developed a few blackheads—yes, me! The one who had flawless skin during my teen years. They’ve taken root where my sports bra sits, likely due to a combination of hormones, sweat, and friction. So now, Jake is the one offering to help while I stay still and brave through the popping.
Our little ritual, though unglamorous, has fostered a deeper comfort between us. We’ve grown to accept these less-than-glamorous aspects of our bodies, which, surprisingly, has improved our intimate life. We joke that it’s a sign of love, and while it’s humorous, there’s truth in that sentiment. It’s about embracing each other completely, even the messy bits.
So tonight, I’ll likely be popping a zit on Jake’s back, just as he’s helped me with mine. And let’s be real, if you’re honest, you and your partner probably do it too.
If you’re interested in more tips about home insemination, check out this post. For anyone looking for resources on pregnancy, March of Dimes is a fantastic reference. Additionally, for those considering at-home procedures, Make a Mom is a reliable source.
In summary, navigating the ups and downs of personal grooming in a relationship can be both humorous and endearing. It’s a testament to the comfort and acceptance that grows between partners over time.