Random Strangers, Please Mind Your Own Business and Stop Asking About My Son’s Father

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As a single mother, I’ve spent almost all of my son’s life raising him on my own. We’re inseparable; he’s my little sidekick. While I don’t mind the occasional questions from well-meaning strangers—like how old he is or if he enjoys his favorite toys—I draw the line at inquiries about his father.

Let me be clear: dear random person on the street, please don’t ask me about my son’s father. It’s simply none of your business.

At first, I would deflect these questions by suggesting that his father and I were still together, knowing that would usually put an end to the conversation. It wasn’t entirely untrue—we were in a long-distance relationship—but complete strangers don’t need to know the specifics.

More often than not, these intrusive questions come from men who seem to be trying to gauge whether I’m single so they can make a move. This approach is problematic for several reasons. If your only hesitation about asking me out is the presence of a man in my life, you need to reevaluate your priorities. How about you just don’t hit on a woman pushing a stroller down the street? Or maybe consider that I’m a person with my own life, and this is a deeply personal question? It’s awkward, to say the least.

My son’s father is involved in his life—not in a romantic sense, but he plays a role, and that should suffice. Even if he weren’t around at all, I wouldn’t appreciate a stranger prying into my life. This line of questioning feels predatory and uncomfortable.

I remember one particular evening vividly. I was working as a babysitter and had my son with me on a late-night job. We took an Uber home and found ourselves in the car of an older gentleman. As my son munched on snacks, I engaged our driver in casual conversation. When asked where we were coming from, I explained my work situation.

“Where’s his daddy?” he asked, and I felt my jaw drop. “It’s just me and him,” I said.

“So who takes care of you?” he inquired. Yes, really.

“I take care of me,” I responded, adding that we lived with my parents. Not that it was any of his business.

“Oh, that’s good. Is the daddy in the picture?” he continued.

“Yes, he is,” I said, ending the conversation there. I wanted to say, “Excuse me, but why is it any of your concern who is in my son’s life?” What if I had a difficult situation with his father? What if I had no family support? It’s irrelevant to him.

Sadly, this wasn’t an isolated incident. I’ve encountered at least two other drivers who asked about my son’s father. After that first awkward exchange, I learned to keep it simple: “He’s in California.” While that’s true, I refuse to elaborate further, but they often press for more information.

Just because my son’s father isn’t physically present every day doesn’t mean they lack a relationship. It also doesn’t entitle anyone to ask about it.

As a single mother, I find myself lying about my relationship status more often than when I was just a single woman. I can’t help but wonder if these questions would arise if I were married. Most likely not—because they’re more interested in whether I’m available than in my son’s well-being. This can feel dehumanizing.

Having a child with someone and not having the relationship work out doesn’t diminish my worth as a person. I’m a dedicated mom raising my child without a partner, and single mothers already have plenty to manage without feeling like targets for unwanted attention. So, gentlemen, if you’re ever tempted to ask a mother about her son’s father or pry into her personal life, please reconsider. If she wants to share that information, it will be on her terms—not because a stranger decided to intrude on her day.

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In summary, it’s essential to respect boundaries when it comes to personal matters, especially for single parents. Random inquiries about family dynamics can be intrusive and awkward. Let’s all practice a little more mindfulness and let people share their stories when they feel comfortable.