When you transition from being a couple to becoming parents, everything shifts. You might believe that your love life will remain unchanged, perhaps even vowing to keep the flame alive with regular date nights. You promise yourself that you won’t morph into “those” couples—the ones who can’t complete a sentence without being interrupted by a chorus of “Mom, he’s bothering me!” or “Dad, my toy is stuck in the couch!”
You reassure each other that conversations will extend beyond parenting and finances, that you’ll still discuss your dreams and passions. However, soon enough, you find yourselves exchanging grunts, sighs, and questions that once would have made you cringe back when you were blissfully oblivious to what modern parenting entails.
Before you know it, you’ve become one of “those” couples. Don’t worry; it’s perfectly normal. This is simply the “Question Stage” of your relationship, and while it may feel endless, it will pass. I think. I’m still waiting.
Are You in the Question Stage?
If you’re curious whether you’re in this phase, see how many of these questions you or your partner have recently posed:
- How many diapers did you change today?
Answer: Too many. - Isn’t it your turn to tackle the overflowing toilet?
Which is really just another way of saying, “Honey, please handle the toilet crisis now.” - What’s that odor?
Pro tip: Avoid answering. Just clean it up quietly and move on. Everyone will be better off. - Do we have any dinosaur nuggets? Fish sticks? Cereal?
Another pro tip: Do not respond! Just call for pizza. Stat. - Is that pet vomit or kid vomit?
This is the one time you might actually wish it’s the pet’s mess. - How many times did you wake up last night?
Chances are, if you’re asking this, you’re both too tired to remember how many times a baby or restless toddler disturbed your sleep, and you’re hoping for a tag-in for the night. - Did you feed the pets?
Just say yes. And then actually feed them. - When did the kids last bathe? And when did I last bathe?
In other words, time to run that bath, my friend. I need a soak. - Want to turn on a show and sneak a moment in the bathroom?
Right after the kids’ bath, love. - When will we actually get to finish a conversation?
In about 18 years.
If you find yourself in the Question Stage of your relationship, don’t worry; it’s a common phase. We’ve all been there or are still experiencing it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear my partner asking yet another question.
For more insights and relatable stories, check out this other blog post on home insemination. You can also find valuable information on couples’ fertility journeys, which is an authority on this topic, and visit Healthline for excellent resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, transitioning into parenthood inevitably changes the dynamics of your marriage. The questions you ask each other shift dramatically, often revolving around daily chores and the chaos of kids. While it may feel overwhelming, remember that this stage is temporary and many couples navigate it together.