After experiencing the unimaginable loss of his children, one father is dedicated to helping other dads navigate their grief. Losing a child can be an overwhelmingly painful experience for both parents, but societal norms often make it harder for fathers to openly express their sorrow. While a mother can openly grieve, men frequently feel pressured to suppress their emotions in order to appear “strong.”
One father, Mark Johnson, is committed to changing this narrative and showing that grieving is not only acceptable but essential.
Mark and his partner faced the devastating loss of two pregnancies: their son, Ethan, and daughter, Mia. In his efforts to be a source of strength for his partner, Mark neglected to confront his own grief until it became impossible to ignore. “I found myself stuck in bed, unable to cope,” he revealed in an interview. “I hit rock bottom and realized I couldn’t hide from this pain anymore.”
In a poignant video, Mark speaks directly to other grieving fathers, reinforcing the importance of acknowledging their emotions. “From a young age, we’re taught to be tough. But let me tell you, it’s not weak to cry. It’s vital to express your pain. Mourning takes time, and seeking help is a mark of bravery,” he emphasizes.
Mark understands firsthand how the world often perceives the grieving process differently for mothers and fathers. “I thought I needed to be the strong one for my partner. I was conditioned to believe that showing tears was a weakness,” he admits. “The loss of a child is profound. People often ask how my partner is coping, but they rarely check in on me.”
To combat these harmful beliefs, Mark founded a website called Grieving Dads, where fathers can share their experiences of loss anonymously if they wish. He personally engages with the community, providing advice and support to fellow dads who are struggling.
The pivotal moment for Mark came when he confided in a mentor at his church about his children’s deaths. The simple acknowledgment from this mentor—“That’s a heavy burden, my friend”—was transformative for him. “It confirmed that it was okay for a man to share his pain,” Mark explains. Inspired by this experience, he began participating in support groups, leading him to find solace and healing in sharing his story.
Determined to help other fathers like himself, Mark made his phone number available on his website, offering a listening ear to those in need. He often receives calls from dads who simply want to talk or release their emotions through tears. “I don’t provide false hope by saying, ‘Things will get better.’ Instead, I say, ‘Things CAN get better,’” he notes.
Mark recognizes that the grief of losing a child is felt equally by mothers and fathers, yet men often bear the weight of societal expectations differently. “We are seen as the protectors of our families, which can lead to feelings of guilt and shame about our grief,” he shares.
Special occasions like Father’s Day can be especially challenging for grieving dads, as they navigate the painful contrast between their own loss and the cheerful posts from friends online. However, Mark finds solace in the work he does with other fathers, helping him process his own grief. While the first few Father’s Days without his children were filled with sorrow, he now embraces moments of joy and hope, saying, “Everything I do daily is to ensure my children would be proud of me. Now, when I think of them, I smile.”
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In summary, Mark Johnson’s journey from personal grief to helping other fathers highlights the importance of emotional expression and community support. By fostering a safe space for men to share their experiences, he is working to dismantle the stigma surrounding male grief and encouraging other dads to embrace their emotions.