By: Jennifer Morgan
Updated: Aug. 3, 2016
Originally Published: Jan. 8, 2005
My health condition is chronic and unmanageable. I have to monitor my blood sugar levels multiple times a day, give myself the appropriate amount of insulin, and meticulously track every carbohydrate I consume.
Honestly, managing my condition is draining. When I’m not checking my blood sugar, I’m often on the phone with my insurance provider, disputing yet another exorbitant medical bill. If I’m not administering insulin to correct a spike in my blood sugar, I’m analyzing how my earlier workout might affect my levels later. And when I’m not second-guessing the carb content of that slice of pizza I just enjoyed, I’m answering questions from well-meaning individuals who wonder if I should even indulge in that pizza at all.
Failing to maintain my blood sugar can lead to severe long-term complications like blindness, amputations, kidney failure, and various other health issues. It’s an overwhelming burden to carry daily, knowing that every decision—from sleep patterns to diet, exercise, and insulin dosage—can be a matter of life or death.
You wouldn’t guess I have Type 1 diabetes just by looking at me. I resemble any other busy mom, often with my hair in a messy bun, wearing yoga pants, and clutching a cup of coffee. I manage my kids’ activities and juggle my self-employed writing career, handling emails, laundry, and sibling squabbles. When my husband gets home at 6 p.m., the evening routine begins, often culminating in collapsing on the couch at 9:00 to catch a bit of television. To the outside world, I seem perfectly ordinary.
When people discover my diabetes—whether it’s from the insulin pump clipped to my waistband or by witnessing me check my blood sugar—I frequently encounter the same set of questions and comments. I hear about relatives who faced dire consequences due to poor lifestyle choices. Some ask if I can simply take medication instead. Others express disbelief at the thought of injecting themselves, while many question my dietary habits or assume I never touch sugar. I often receive unsolicited advice about miracle cures, herbal remedies, or even alternative therapies. One person even reassured me, “At least it’s not cancer!” Others lean in, whispering concerns like, “How are you holding up?” or “Are your blood sugar levels alright?”
Keeping my blood sugar in check is as tricky as preventing a toddler from throwing a fit when you take away their favorite toy. Since my pancreas no longer produces insulin, I have to step into that role myself. This means I’m vigilant every day of the year.
The stress that accompanies a chronic illness is unlike anything else. It brings about endless worry, second-guessing, and frustration. However, it has also fostered resilience, courage, and a sense of prioritization in my life. The notion of balance transforms entirely when your life depends on it.
As someone living with diabetes, there are things I don’t need. I really don’t want to hear about “great-tasting, sugar-free” drink mixes that don’t cure me. I also don’t want to hear about your uncle who had a terrible experience with diabetes, nor do I seek the latest miracle treatments. And please, avoid leaning in to ask, “Are you doing OK?” These interactions only serve to remind me of my condition and make me feel inadequate.
Let me share what truly helps. When I was first diagnosed, a friend visited me in the hospital. I was curled up in an uncomfortable bed, visibly unwell and bruised from needle sticks. Instead of asking how I felt or offering a generic “Get Well Soon,” she sat at the edge of my bed and gently rubbed my feet. Her message was clear: I care. I’m here for you.
If you know someone like me who is navigating a chronic illness, find a simple way to show your support—without expectations. Bring them a surprise cup of coffee on a gloomy day or send a heartfelt card that can bring a smile on a tough day. A simple text acknowledging their strength can make a world of difference. Ask, “What’s one thing I can do to brighten your day?” and then follow through.
So please, don’t waste your energy feeling sorry for me. Stand alongside me, support me, and yes, send me coffee.
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In summary, while living with a chronic illness like Type 1 diabetes presents its own set of challenges, it also fosters resilience and a new perspective on life. By offering genuine support rather than pity, friends and family can make a significant impact.