As we look back on our past, it’s easy to engage in a bit of nostalgic revisionism. The unfortunate hairstyle you rocked for that school photo can be shrugged off as just part of the ’80s trend for big hair. The profound quote you thought made you sound insightful—well, “Irony!” is what you tell yourself now.
While aging gives us the privilege to reinvent our past selves, some things are just too cringeworthy to ignore. Sure, I was a fan of Nirvana and Alice in Chains, but I also happily attended a few concerts by Winger and eagerly waited by the tour bus of the guys from Trixter. We all have those musical guilty pleasures hiding in our closets, tucked away behind a vintage Members Only jacket and a poster of a certain party dog.
So, let’s celebrate the awkwardness! Here are five truly unfashionable songs that I can’t seem to shake off:
-
‘Sister Christian’ by Night Ranger
Don’t let anyone convince you this song ever had any cool factor. Yes, it topped the charts in Canada, and Night Ranger features some talented musicians, but that won’t change the fact that I crank this tune up loud during late-night Taco Bell runs. “What’s my price for flight?” you ask, Night Ranger? Clearly, it’s my dignity. -
‘How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?’ by Michael Bolton
Who can resist the emotional intensity of Bolton’s late ’80s ballads? The hair, the voice, the fact that he once opened for Ozzy—he had it all. But let’s face it, he’s almost a cultural punchline. Even with his self-deprecating humor, coolness is not on his resume. Still, when it comes to this tear-jerking anthem, I couldn’t care less about my image. -
‘Conga’ by Miami Sound Machine
Before Gloria Estefan became a household name, she and her husband, Emilio, gifted us with this infectious tune. On the surface, I may have feigned annoyance at its omnipresence in my South Florida hometown, but inside, I was dancing my way through life—from the grocery store to beach bonfires. These days, it’s a mix of nostalgia and longing, and I choose to embrace it. -
‘God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll to You II’ by Kiss
This one’s a double whammy. Enjoying “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” was cool, but “Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey”? Not so much. I loved it, and this Kiss cover is a highlight on the soundtrack. Sure, it’s over the top and a bit ridiculous, but it’s also totally awesome. Whether or not rock and roll is in everyone’s soul, I’ll take Paul Stanley’s word for it. -
‘Friends in Low Places’ by Garth Brooks
Is Garth Brooks cool? Opinions vary, especially among emo or metal fans. Yet, this crossover classic about celebrating with friends instead of mourning an ex is undeniably catchy. Everyone seems to know the lyrics, and no one minds belting it out on karaoke night. It’s the kind of song that gets the crowd going—even if nobody wants to claim it.
For more insights into the world of home insemination, check out our post on Intracervical Insemination for helpful resources. If you’re looking for expert advice on home insemination kits, visit Make a Mom for a comprehensive guide. Additionally, the CDC’s resource on infertility provides valuable information for anyone interested in starting a family.
In summary, while these songs may lack cool credibility, they hold a special place in my heart. They remind us that music is all about connection and memories, and sometimes, embracing the uncool is what makes life fun.