As I embrace the milestone of turning 50, I find myself reflecting on the journey that brought me here. For an entire year, I clung to the age of 49, savoring each moment like it was a precious artifact. Yet, time marched on, and here I am, officially on the other side of the hill.
Amidst this transition, I want to cherish the memories of celebrating with family and friends—the joy of blowing out candles, the wishes I made, and most importantly, the moments with my children. I want to hold onto the essence of who they are right now.
My Children: A Snapshot
My eldest, Liam, is now 21, poised to start his senior year of college. He’s grown into a capable and independent young man, having spent a semester exploring Europe, yet he still occasionally sends me those sweet texts that remind me of his boyish charm. Then there’s my daughter, Ava, at 19, just wrapping up her first year of college. She’s a witty and intelligent young woman who, despite her independence, still needs me to help pack her dorm room and sort out her summer plans. And finally, there’s my youngest, Noah, at 17. He remains the last fledgling in our nest, thriving in his junior year, his zest for life and appetite for new experiences ever-growing.
The Fleeting Nature of Memory
Yet, I know that as time passes, these vivid moments may slip away. I struggle to recall my children’s exact ages and milestones from when I turned 40 or even 45. Memory can be such a capricious thief, leaving me to ponder why some moments are etched in my mind while others fade like a long-forgotten dream.
Music and Memories
As I navigate this bustling spring, constantly moving between the kitchen and laundry room, music often fills the air. Recently, a melody transported me back to a cherished trip to Brittany, allowing me to relive moments with my kids when they were just 6, 4, and 2. I can almost see my partner, Mark, gathering Polly Pockets from the airplane floor, the five of us sharing baguette crumbs with pigeons at a train station, climbing the steps of Montmartre, and savoring grilled fish at a quaint harbor café—all while the winds swept through the house perched on the hill overlooking the ocean.
As the song faded, reality returned, and I was back in my kitchen, confronted with the reality of turning 50 and the ages of my children—21, 19, 17. What memories of that trip will they carry forward? It’s bewildering to think about our decision to travel so far when they were so young, but it was an opportunity we couldn’t pass up. That trip remains a vivid memory for me, a place I can revisit where I can still be a mother to little ones.
Creating Lasting Connections
Throughout our adventures and celebrations as a family, I wonder what moments have left a lasting impression on my kids. Our shared experiences are colored by individual perspectives, and though we may not remember everything, we have created connections that endure. For instance, Liam crafted a playlist for my birthday, and the song that whisked me back to Brittany was among those tracks, reinforcing our bond even when we can’t pinpoint why.
Looking Ahead
As I step into the next chapter of my life, I yearn to create more memories with my family. I recognize that our outings may become less frequent, and I can’t freeze time or memories, but I hope the experiences we share will resonate with my kids. When the right song plays, I want them to be transported back to the moments we spent together as a family of five. It’s almost like having a life raft, keeping us afloat amidst the waves of time.
Further Reading
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Summary
Reflecting on the journey to 50, I cherish the memories of my children—Liam, Ava, and Noah—and the experiences we’ve shared. As I look forward to creating more memories, I hope the moments we’ve lived together remain vivid in their minds, especially when prompted by music or special experiences.