I could sense the urgency in her text message—something was undeniably wrong. “Can I call?” she typed. “Absolutely,” I replied. When she called, her usual bright and bubbly voice quickly crumbled into heart-wrenching sobs. My heart felt as if it had been torn apart.
Once you become a mother, forming new friendships seems to become a daunting task. Sure, you make acquaintances with other moms—the ones whose kids go to the same school as yours—and you hope you can tolerate them long enough to get through school events and birthday parties. These mom friends often remind me of the “work friends” from my past; they’re not necessarily the friends you chose, but they’re the ones you have. Love the ones you’re with, right?
But what about true friendships? Playdates can feel like awkward first dates, and soccer games often resemble speed dating sessions. When you finally meet someone you connect with, it feels like you should invite them over for dinner immediately to secure a potential mani/pedi partner for life.
In today’s world, the digital realm serves as a modern bar scene for moms to meet friends. Connections made in Facebook groups and other online platforms can feel authentic, deep, and sometimes even closer than those with friends in real life. However, are these online friendships considered “real”? I always thought they were a step down from my in-person friendships—perhaps “other” or “different.”
I’ve navigated the mom friend scene online, beginning with AOL Messenger. Who remembers the days of dial-up internet and constant disconnections?
One online friend, whom I’ve been fortunate enough to meet once, has become incredibly special to me. She’s one of those rare, genuinely kind individuals—more so than many people I’ve encountered in person. Her laughter is contagious, and she has a warmth that draws people in. Despite her challenges, she uses them to uplift herself and others. I’m fortunate to call her my friend.
However, because our friendship primarily existed online, I never fully understood its depth until she reached out to me during a tough moment. If I were to continue with the dating metaphor, this felt like a pivotal moment in our friendship.
When her tearful voice came through the phone, I was thrown off balance. I’m used to seeing her cheerful side, but this was different. I’ve seen her frustrated, but this was raw and real. I’m the type of friend who likes to offer solutions—think of me as the Olivia Pope of friendships. Yet, this time, I couldn’t fix anything. I wasn’t there physically, and I didn’t know the specific players in her life’s story. At first, I thought she might need more than what a virtual friend could offer. But then it hit me: she wouldn’t have called if she didn’t see me as more than just an online acquaintance.
All I could do was listen. She needed to express herself and be heard. I hope I could support her, even if just for a moment. True to her nature, she’s facing this challenge with dignity and grace, reminding me once again why I admire her so deeply.
In that moment, our online friendship felt validated; we had crossed some sort of threshold. We had moved to a new stage of friendship that would likely endure for many years to come.
Ultimately, the lesson is clear: never underestimate the authenticity of friendships formed online. Whether or not you meet face-to-face doesn’t diminish the bond. I’m grateful that she reached out and disrupted my routine. I’m glad I could be there for her—even if I wasn’t really there.
For insightful discussions on topics like this, check out this article. If you’re interested in related subjects, Make a Mom is a great resource. And for those exploring pregnancy options, UCSF’s IVF page offers excellent information.
Summary:
This article explores the authenticity of friendships formed online, particularly among mothers. It recounts a personal experience of supporting a friend through a tough time, highlighting the depth and significance of virtual connections. Ultimately, it emphasizes that online friendships are just as real and valuable as those made in person.