I’ve had my fill of songs glorifying twerking and partying hard. A lot of today’s popular music is saturated with misogyny, overt sexuality, and references to heavy drinking and drug use. Yikes!
Sure, I might come off like a concerned parent from the ’80s, but I’m also the mother of a 10-year-old son who is not only passionate about pop music but also seems to grasp every word of every song (unlike me—I often find myself asking, “What was that?”).
We have strict parental controls on our devices and limit screen time. My children watch little TV, and I regularly check films and even books on Common Sense Media to ensure they’re age-appropriate. But the radio? It’s like a media free-for-all in our home, and banning it feels both restrictive and impossible to enforce.
So what can I do? We don’t have satellite radio with its curated selections. My kids aren’t interested in oldies or Christian stations, and NPR isn’t on their radar either. They don’t want to drive in silence; in fact, my son, the music enthusiast, insists on having the radio on constantly. More than once, I’ve found the laundry room radio hidden in his room—and I’ve quietly returned it, especially since the DJs often have just as trashy commentary as the music itself.
It’s easy to think that this is a new dilemma for parents, but it’s not. When my older siblings were young, they would order records from Columbia House. My mom would often sit in the kitchen, listening to them while reading the lyrics. “This song is about a prostitute,” she’d disapprove while listening to The Police’s “Roxanne.” “But, Mom, he’s saying she doesn’t have to put on the red light!” Touché, siblings. They won that debate.
But parents can’t always preview everything (and let’s be honest, who has the time?). Growing up near New York City, I had my own clock radio tuned to my favorite music station. One morning, I accidentally turned it to Howard Stern’s morning show, which was a shocking introduction to his often crude humor. At around 11 or 12, I was subjected to uncomfortable questions directed at female guests, and it made me cringe, reminding me of the way some boys behaved at my junior high.
To escape, I switched to all-news radio, where I was greeted with reports about troubling crimes in Central Park during the late ’80s. So much for a better alternative. My parents were blissfully unaware of what I was hearing behind my closed door.
The reality is that tweens will encounter a lot of inappropriate content regardless of our efforts to shield them. This is especially true in school and, more unexpectedly, at home through the radio. Given that, I’m trying to reduce the time my son listens alone and increase our shared listening experiences. Why not turn it into an opportunity for discussion?
When my siblings and I were new drivers, my mom made it a point to take us driving whenever she could, maximizing our time together before we hit the road alone. I believe the same principle applies to media engagement. The more we listen together, the more chances I have to discuss raunchy lyrics and the DJs’ casual remarks about their “bitchy” wives. I’m not ruling out changing the station, but by doing so, I hope to become a guiding voice in his mind, encouraging him to think critically about what he hears.
There’s a glimmer of hope. My son has tried to convince me that a song featuring a woman singing “you don’t own me” is a better message than one where she sings “I wanna look good for you.” He’s onto something there! Hopefully, he’ll also come to understand that no woman should have to assert her independence in such a way.
So, I’ll keep the conversations going, and I hope he continues to think deeply. Perhaps it’s time to stop shielding him from the world and start preparing him to face it.
For more insights on managing media exposure, check out this article on privacy policies from one of our other blog posts. Also, for reliable information regarding pregnancy and home insemination, visit March of Dimes. And if you’re interested in practical tools, check out Make a Mom.
Summary
Navigating the complexities of children’s exposure to pop music can be challenging for parents, especially when many lyrics contain inappropriate themes. While it may be tempting to ban certain music altogether, creating opportunities for discussion may be a more constructive approach. Listening together allows parents to guide their children in understanding and critically analyzing the messages conveyed in popular songs.