Childhood is filled with a multitude of awkward moments: bowl cuts, early bedtimes, and the persistent need for help with everything from tying shoelaces to blowing noses. While some of these experiences might be necessary for a child’s safety and development, there are traditions we impose that are simply unfair and offer no real benefit. One notorious example is the mind-numbing game of War.
Why War is the Worst
You probably remember War. It’s that tedious game where two players split a deck of cards and flip them over one by one. The player with the higher card takes both. The “excitement” continues until one player collects the entire deck, which can take hours. The only variation is when both players reveal a card of equal value—this is the “war”—which requires them to flip two additional cards. The winner of this mini-battle takes all four cards.
Even as a child who easily fell for various tricks (like believing my neighborhood friends were genuine pals just because we lived nearby), I recognized War was a terrible game. It required no skill, unlike Go Fish or Uno, and once you understood that some numbers were higher, any child could grasp it.
The Real Issue with War
The primary flaw of War is that it instills the notion that winning is the ultimate goal, regardless of strategy or intelligence. There’s no real pride in winning at War, just as there isn’t in winning Bingo or a scratch-off lottery ticket—at least those games offer a cash prize! The only “reward” for winning War is dubious bragging rights. You might not have done anything to earn your victory, but hey, you won! And let’s be honest—who’s going to remember your opponent’s name afterward? As Winston Churchill famously noted, “History is written by the victors.”
The Problem Beyond War
I don’t have kids myself (you’re welcome, world), but I can speak from experience as a former child. It was disheartening to hear my sister mention that her pre-teen daughter lies awake the night before running The Mile, the stressful centerpiece of the President’s Challenge—a rebranded version of the old President’s Physical Fitness Test.
The issue with The Mile, like other components of the Challenge (except the skinfold/BMI test, which merits a different discussion), lies not in assessing children’s physical fitness but in how it labels winners and losers. The fastest runners received medals and were celebrated by gym teachers as if they had achieved something monumental. This created a rigid social hierarchy: the speedy were adored, while the slower ones faced ridicule.
We Don’t Need to Raise Jerks
I’m not suggesting we shield children from the sting of losing or that everyone should receive a trophy for just participating. However, it took me years to overcome the trauma of The Mile. For far too long, I believed that if I couldn’t be fast, running simply wasn’t for me.
A narrow focus on winning and other simplistic measures of success only serves to create a generation of competitive individuals who may view life through a skewed lens. I’m not here to criticize gym teachers or make sweeping statements about parenting, but it’s crucial to recognize the more meaningful lessons sports can impart—lessons that foster a love for physical activity and encourage lifelong exercise habits. That should be the real goal of physical education and initiatives like the President’s Challenge.
In my opinion, War is a game that should be avoided at all costs. Instead, why not teach kids to play bridge? It’s so complex that no one, child or adult, will grasp it fully, which means you won’t have to worry about an overemphasis on winning. This opens the door for discussions about process, skill, and the importance of trying, which are far more valuable than any fleeting victory.
In summary, childhood should not be about turning kids into competitive winners through arbitrary games like War. Instead, we should focus on nurturing their love for movement and the joy of the journey itself.
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