Recently, there’s been quite a conversation around the idea that social media can’t replace genuine friendships. Critics argue that texting and online messaging have become substitutes for meaningful, face-to-face interactions. Many lament that people are choosing to send emails instead of having conversations, opting for Facebook messages rather than meeting up, and spending more time glued to their screens than enjoying the company of family and friends.
But let’s get real, everyone. In a world filled with potty training, tantrums, sacred naptimes, and power struggles over everything from mismatched socks to requests for just one more episode of a favorite show, connecting in person can be a daunting task for many mothers.
This is where online friendships come into play. Sure, we know that chatting online may never fully replace time spent with friends in real life. However, as motherhood has shown us time and again, sometimes you just have to accept the situation as it is. After all, some connections—even those deemed “not real” because they’re online—can still be meaningful. We all dream of idyllic coffee dates with well-behaved kids nibbling on scones while we share stories over lattes. But let’s face it—many days, we’re in our pajamas, still unshowered, and have just dealt with a mini-crisis involving a toddler using our hair instead of a tissue. The time for mom-dates feels nonexistent! Still, that doesn’t mean we don’t yearn for companionship.
Thanks to the power of social media and blogs, it has never been easier for isolated moms to reach out and connect. In fact, there are certain advantages to online friendships. For one, you don’t have to deal with their kids, which means you won’t have to endure any annoyances. We all have that one friend whose child can drive us up the wall! Plus, online friends are often quick to boost your confidence and remind you of your worth, highlighting your brilliance and how fabulous you look in your profile picture—without witnessing the chaos of your daily life.
Essential DOs and DON’Ts for Online Mom Friendships
However, there are some essential DOs and DON’Ts to keep in mind when cultivating online mom friendships. Based on our experiences, here are some tips:
- DO embrace your inner detective. If she has a blog (and who doesn’t these days?), dive into her “Favorite Books” section and leave enthusiastic comments about her taste. Like her updates on social media and share your own parenting triumphs and mishaps.
- BUT DON’T go overboard. Nothing screams “creepy” like someone who likes all your photos from two years ago the day after you became friends.
- DO show your true self. Moms love to bond over shared parenting mishaps, so skip the bragging and share the reality of your life—like the chaotic day when you missed the bus and ended up making mac and cheese again.
- BUT DON’T overlook subtle signs. If you mention a recent diaper disaster and she quickly changes the subject, it might be a sign to pull back. But if she replies with a relatable story of her own, you’ve found a kindred spirit for future tales of parenting chaos.
- DO seek out other moms facing similar challenges. Often, our in-real-life friends may be at different stages of parenthood, whether they’re yet to have kids or have older children. Finding a fellow mom navigating the same sleep deprivation or preschool drama can be incredibly helpful.
- BUT DON’T dismiss friendships based on differences. Avoid contributing to the mommy wars by only connecting with like-minded moms. Relationships can flourish despite differing opinions and experiences.
Creating online friendships can be deeply fulfilling. You have the chance to connect with women you might never meet otherwise and even engage with your pre-mom self—the one whose job description didn’t include constant cleaning and caregiving. We bonded over a blog project that evolved into a book, showcasing how online connections can reignite old passions beyond parenting. Even though Lila and I come from different backgrounds—whether in education or parenting styles—our bond is real and supportive, despite never having met in person.
So, the next time you’re feeling lonely and the idea of stepping out feels overwhelming, consider opening your laptop and exploring the possibility of making a new friend. You never know the connections you might find!
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In summary, online connections can provide a valuable source of support and camaraderie for mothers navigating the ups and downs of parenting.