Moving from Brooklyn to Florida two years ago was a significant shift for me. While working from home has its perks, it also made building a social circle quite the challenge. Meeting new friends in a completely unfamiliar area can be tough, especially without the usual workplace interactions.
Not long after relocating, I connected with a delightful woman named Sarah at a local wine bar. This spot had become my little escape for adult conversation. Sarah had a daughter the same age as mine—almost two years old. I often thought about arranging a playdate, but our conversations always took a different turn, and plans never materialized.
Last year was riddled with alarming stories about gun accidents. Each week seemed to bring news of a tragic mishap. One story recounted how a toddler accidentally shot his mother with a gun he found under the couch while she was changing her infant sibling. Another reported a child who reached into a purse at a store and fatally shot their mother. After one of these incidents, the topic of gun ownership surfaced among the patrons at the wine bar, and I was surprised to learn that all five others present owned firearms—while I did not.
When the discussion turned to Sarah, I assumed she would share that she didn’t own a gun. Having lived in a city where gun ownership isn’t as prevalent, I expected her response to align with that mindset. However, she stated, “Oh yes, we have a loaded shotgun by our bed. My husband travels for work and is really concerned about our safety while he’s away.” A loaded shotgun? With a toddler in the house?
That moment made it clear to me: you just never know a negligent gun owner until you ask the right questions. Yes, there are responsible gun owners who properly secure their firearms and educate their children on their dangers. But then there are those who do not take similar precautions. They aren’t necessarily bad people, but their homes may not be the safest places for children.
Inquiring about whether a family has a gun at home before a playdate is completely valid. An article in The Washington Post highlighted a mother who routinely asks this question before allowing her child to visit others. Predictably, she faced criticism defending Second Amendment rights and comments about the higher risks associated with car accidents or drownings. Some even labeled her irresponsible for not being prepared to defend her family during a potential break-in.
As parents, we have every right to prioritize our children’s safety and to ask the necessary questions. If someone feels that inquiring about gun ownership is an invasion of privacy, then perhaps that relationship isn’t meant to blossom. It’s as simple as that.
Statistics reveal that 40% of gun owners with children in the home do not store their weapons securely. A special investigative report showed that many parents place excessive trust in their children’s ability to handle firearms responsibly. Tragically, nearly 1,500 children die from accidental shootings each year—a figure that remains imprecise due to insufficient government tracking of gun safety and children. Thank you, NRA.
Given these alarming statistics, it’s understandable for parents to feel anxious. If you believe that asking about firearms in the home is intrusive, that’s your prerogative, too. The playdate can happen elsewhere. However, I can’t say I’d be eager to plan a playdate with a parent who isn’t open about such an important issue.
What do you think?
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In summary, asking about gun ownership before a playdate is a reasonable precaution for ensuring child safety. With significant statistics backing the need for caution, parents should feel empowered to inquire about such matters.