We’ve all been there. “Don’t run with scissors!” Who hasn’t instinctively covered their mouth the moment those words escape? Yep, you’ve officially transformed into your mother.
The realization hit me when I found myself reminding one of my kids to wear clean underwear in case of an accident. What the heck?! But after some thought, it dawned on me that I’ve adopted not just my mother’s habits, but also those of several other women.
Remember watching the movie Sybil as a kid? Sally Field portrayed a character with multiple personalities, each surfacing when most needed. Well, it’s similar for me—not to downplay the struggles of those with Multiple Personality Disorder—but in the parenting game, many voices help lighten the load.
The personalities I channel often come from beloved TV shows and movies. Some aren’t even mothers, yet they still come in handy. I draw on these personas from my mental toolkit whenever the situation calls for it.
I am my mother and…
- Sophia Winters: I summon Sophia whenever my kids have a last-minute school project. With her calm guidance, I miraculously find foam balls, glue, and glitter just in time to create a masterpiece.
- Julia Tanner: Now, I’ll admit, I envy Julia. She’s a stay-at-home mom with a successful husband and a flawless home. If only I had a housekeeper like Alice! I’d glide through life looking perfect while someone else handled the chores. I’d trade almost anything for an Alice—seriously, where’s my Alice?
- Lila Brooks (from Modern Family): “I wah uh kih-er bah-ee!” Sorry, just snacked on a treat. Let me try again: I crave a fantastic figure!
- Maggie (from The Help): With a can of Crisco in hand, Maggie would tackle anything. Whether frying chicken, detangling hair, or fixing squeaky doors, she’s a lifesaver.
- Diane Miller: Sometimes I need Diane’s no-nonsense attitude, free of political correctness. The issue? She often appears too late, leaving me to mentally tell someone off during my commute. We definitely need to sync our schedules.
- Nurse Thompson (from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest): Not a mom, but I admire her calm demeanor amid chaos. “Mr. Johnson, sit down. We can discuss your concerns once you’re collected. Are you calm now, Mr. Johnson?”
- Karen Johnson: I call on her when it’s time to gather my kids. Sure, a magical bus would help, but anyone who can get five kids ready and out the door on time deserves a round of applause. Plus, she solves problems with catchy songs—what a bonus!
- Gwen Addams: Let’s face it, she always looks stunning in black and manages her family effortlessly, all while embracing a wonderfully quirky lifestyle. Non-conformity rules!
- Ava Martinez: Also known as The Ranch Wife. Who wouldn’t appreciate a sprinkle of Ava in their life? She manages her busy family with grace, whipping up delicious meals while making it all seem effortless. When she steps in, I’m treated to homemade desserts and refreshing iced drinks.
Oh dear, I have only nine women on my list, and it feels unbalanced and messy. Please, someone suggest a tenth addition! I need a complete roster to keep my mental chaos in check.
This piece was originally published on April 24, 2010.
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In summary, as we navigate the ups and downs of parenting, we often embody various maternal figures from our lives, whether real or fictional. These influences help us tackle challenges and provide the support we need in our roles as caregivers.