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The Day I Took My Kids to My Psychiatrist Appointment
Yesterday morning, I did something I never thought I would—I brought all four of my kids along to my psychiatrist appointment. Typically, I reserve this time, much like I did during my prenatal checkups, solely for my own well-being, free from the distractions of parenting. It’s a rare chance for me to focus on myself, away from the responsibilities of ensuring my children behave in such a formal environment.
Honestly, I was also anxious about explaining to them why I visit a psychiatrist. Questions like, “Do I have to come here too, Mom?” or, “Why do you keep coming if you feel fine?” made me uneasy. I didn’t want to dive into those conversations, as they stirred feelings of shame within me.
Shame—despite being someone who openly shares my journey with Bipolar Disorder and advocates for destigmatizing mental health issues. I’ve participated in public discussions and co-edited a bestselling anthology on mental health, yet I found myself frightened. I didn’t want my children to perceive me as perpetually broken, knowing I would be attending these appointments for life. While I wholeheartedly embrace the medications that help me, a small part of me still feels like I’m failing because I can’t navigate life’s challenges without them.
This week, I came to realize that my hesitation about bringing my kids stemmed not just from convenience, but from a desire to shield them from the uncomfortable aspects of my mental health journey—even though we’ve had open discussions about it. When my childcare plans fell through due to scheduling conflicts, I faced a decision: cancel the appointment or bring the whole crew with me to the psychiatrist.
In life, especially when managing a mental illness, perspective is everything. The hefty $110 cancellation fee certainly influenced my choice to take the harder route, but it wasn’t the sole reason. I understood that to genuinely combat mental health stigma, I needed to let my children see this side of my disorder management. Not only would it normalize the experience for them, should they ever need to seek mental health support, but it would also demonstrate that ordinary people seek care and guidance.
As we arrived, my boys held doors for others entering and exiting the waiting area, striking up friendly conversations, which is a Southern trait, I believe. There are so many negative stereotypes about mental illness (we’re not all in need of straightjackets, at least not every day!) that showcasing the reality of mental health management is vital, especially to the next generation.
They joined me as I went through my weight check and discussed medication adjustments with the nurse. A few times, they chimed in with honest observations about my sleep and mood—talk about a dose of reality! When we moved into the doctor’s office, they expressed their delight at the comfy chairs and listened attentively to our conversation, even answering her questions. Before we left, they offered hugs to the nurse and doctor, just as they do with anyone they like.
I want my children to understand that anyone seeking help for mental health is bravely facing their challenges. Part of breaking the stigma involves revealing the truth about those who struggle, and this was my subtle way of doing just that.
I also reflected on how their presence could impact other patients. A group of cheerful kids seemed to lighten the usual tense atmosphere that often fills mental health offices. I made sure they were well-mannered and respectful, but I didn’t stifle their natural energy. Many people sit in their cars until the last moment before entering, trying to hide the fact that they’re visiting a mental health professional. You don’t see that in family medicine or pediatric offices; patients don’t wait in the car to hide a broken arm until they can discreetly enter Urgent Care. In today’s world, there’s no shame in seeking assistance for physical ailments, and by fostering open conversations about mental health, we can create the same acceptance for mental wellness.
My hope is that anyone living with mental illness will feel encouraged to discuss their experiences openly with loved ones. This not only aids in their understanding but also reassures them that seeking help is okay and encourages support for others who may be facing similar challenges.
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