After the birth of my second child, I was excited to return to my career. I loved my new role and was determined that being a mother wouldn’t hinder my professional aspirations. However, not long after I resumed work, I received a call from my nanny. She had fallen ill and could no longer take care of my children. Faced with the dilemma of telling my boss I had to leave, I reached out to my partner for help. As I hung up, a familiar worry crept in: Would I ever be able to manage both work and family?
For every woman grappling with the challenge of juggling career and family life, the insights in Laura Vanderkam’s book, I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time, provide valuable guidance. Vanderkam interviewed 143 accomplished mothers, asking them to log how they spent 336 half-hour segments over a week. Her goal was to reveal the practicalities of achieving work-life balance, rather than just discussing it in theory.
Despite the small sample size, Vanderkam’s findings are significant. These successful women manage to get enough rest, dedicate time to their families, engage in leisure activities, and excel in their careers. They do this by prioritizing what truly matters and meticulously organizing their schedules to accommodate these essential activities.
Vanderkam emphasizes a crucial idea: while some days may feel overwhelming, it doesn’t preclude us from having fulfilling lives that encompass work, family, and personal time. It simply means that daily balance may vary, but over the long term, harmony is achievable.
She encourages women to release the notion that their homes or lives must be flawless. It’s essential to accept help from others and to challenge the persistent thought that time is scarce—it often obstructs creative solutions.
Most importantly, Vanderkam asserts that women can indeed pursue both ambitious careers and family life—and many of us have more time available than we realize. Although I initially resisted this idea, I came to see its truth.
One summer day, I discovered that a manuscript I thought was due in November was actually due in September. I felt overwhelmed because I thought I didn’t have enough time. After returning from a family trip to England, I was so jet-lagged that I fell asleep at 8:30 p.m. and woke up at 3 a.m. In the stillness of the early morning, I found that my productivity soared—my output was double what it was during the day.
Throughout that summer, I adapted to a new schedule: waking up at 3 a.m. to work until 7 a.m., then dropping my kids off for their summer activities before writing again until I picked them up. After putting my youngest to bed, I would call it a night, allowing my husband to manage our older boys. I met my deadline and learned, as Vanderkam highlights, that time is flexible. When managed wisely, it can yield hours you never knew you had.
Vanderkam’s work reassures women that it is possible to harmoniously integrate family, work, and personal time. If you’ve ever doubted this balance, know that it is attainable.
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