Tomorrow marks my special day, and as a gift to myself, I’m planning to engage in a series of activities that come naturally to me—much to my partner’s chagrin. As a token of love from him, he cannot complain or roll his eyes at my antics. Here’s a sneak peek at my agenda (which I may choose to expand at any moment):
- Leave every bathroom cabinet and dresser drawer wide open, and scatter at least three pairs of flip-flops throughout the house just for fun.
- Call my partner repeatedly—first on his office phone, then his cell, and back to the office line—just to ask what he wants for dinner. Who cares if he’s in the middle of a meeting? This is crucial!
- Send him text messages filled with a list of “to-do” tasks, topped off with cheerful emojis and lots of hugs and kisses.
- When we go out for dinner, I’ll crank the AC during our drive to dry my hair. It curls better this way, and we might need to leave a bit early to enjoy the ride.
- Spend a solid 15 minutes at the restaurant pondering the menu, only to end up creating a unique dish by combining three different options.
- Treat the hostess stand like a treasure trove, pocketing free toothpicks, matchboxes, and mints—why not? They’re complimentary!
- Before hitting the cinema, I’ll stop at the inconveniently located dollar store for snacks, avoiding the overpriced treats at the theater.
- Throughout the movie, I’ll enjoy my crinkly bag of Sour Patch Kids, which are way more fun than the standard theater boxes.
- Venture to Walmart at 11 PM to finally grab the 20 items I’ve been meaning to buy for weeks, from a fan to nail files. I’ll make sure to compare prices on every single item and proudly present my coupons at checkout, paying with all the coins I’ve been lugging around.
- For a good night’s rest, I’ll slather Vaseline on my feet, wrap them in plastic, and put on wool socks. Does it actually make my feet as soft as a baby’s bottom? Maybe, but it’s worth a shot!
- Finally, I’ll toss and turn all night, hogging the blankets and pillows.
Sounds like a perfect day to me! If you’re looking for more insights on family planning and home insemination, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. For those interested in DIY options, this informative piece on at-home insemination kits is a must-read. And don’t forget to review our terms and conditions for more details!
In summary, my birthday will be a joyful day of harmless annoyances, all in the spirit of celebrating myself. Here’s to embracing the quirks that make life colorful!