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Pregnancy
Thinking about expanding your family? Already on the way? If so, it’s likely you’ve been pondering how to prepare your first child for this new arrival. Or perhaps you’re thinking of just going with the flow. Either way, it’s time to rethink that approach.
Preparation is essential. You need to equip your soon-to-be eldest with a realistic view of what life will be like with a new baby in the house. Here’s how you can do it:
- Be Honest About the Situation
Many parents tend to sugarcoat the news, treating the baby as a temporary visitor or an exciting toy. This often leads to children exclaiming, “I don’t want a baby brother! Put him back!” Instead, have a frank conversation with your child, perhaps in a dramatic setting like the closet with a flashlight, and say, “The baby is coming… and it’s here to stay!” - Discuss Changes in Attention
Currently, if your firstborn wants your attention, they get it right away. But that’s going to change! You might be busy nursing, recovering from childbirth, or simply exhausted. Let your child know that your time will be divided, and they should be prepared for a shift in your availability. - Encourage Independence
Let your child know that when the baby arrives, you will be tied up and less available. Teach them some self-sufficiency, like making their own breakfast. Microwave eggs can be a nutritious option, and don’t forget to provide a step-ladder to keep things safe. Snack options like granola bars should be prepped, so they can help themselves without needing your assistance. - Prepare for the “Fun Gap”
While you want your child to be excited about their new sibling, it’s important to be realistic. Babies spend most of their time sleeping or crying, which may not seem very fun to a young child. Ease your child into the reality that newborns aren’t exactly playmates. - Reassure Them About Future Fun
Let your child know that, eventually, babies do become fun—though it takes what feels like forever! Just like waiting for Christmas as a child, the anticipation can seem endless. If your little one is younger, you might want to humorously exaggerate that the baby will be a bundle of joy in about twenty-two years. - Invest in a Baby Doll for Practice
If your first child is anything like mine, they might need a little practice in being gentle. After an embarrassing incident where my son accidentally hit a newborn, I quickly got him a baby doll. This allowed us to practice gentle touches, diaper changes, and even how to soothe a crying baby. - Set Up a Praise System for the Older Sibling
Your friends and family will be clamoring to meet the new baby, often overlooking your older child. It’s a great opportunity for your firstborn to learn that not everything revolves around them. If they’re feeling left out, maybe involve them in some fun activities, like whipping up a “mocktail” for a little extra attention.
As my children grow—now ages seven and three—they’ve developed a wonderful bond, and I often get compliments on how well they get along. Of course, it hasn’t been without some effort on my part to nurture that relationship. So, while it may feel overwhelming, it’s entirely possible to prepare your family for this exciting new chapter.
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In summary, preparing your first child for a new sibling involves honest communication, teaching independence, and setting realistic expectations. With a little effort, you can foster a supportive and loving environment for everyone.