I’m a proud mom of three boys, and no, I’m not hoping for a girl. It’s not that I wouldn’t cherish having a daughter; it’s just that I feel my family is complete. After welcoming three little ones in under 3.5 years, I’ve decided I’m done with the baby phase. I often find it exhausting when people ask if we’re planning to try for a girl the moment they learn we have “only” boys, as if my family could only be whole with one of each gender.
When my partner, Alex, and I discussed growing our family, gender never came up. We never specified wanting a certain number of boys or girls; we focused on how many children we felt comfortable raising. At one point, I thought four might be the ideal number, but we ultimately agreed that three was just right for us.
During my pregnancies with both my second and third sons, there was never any conversation about stopping if we had a girl or continuing if it was another boy. To me, that mindset just felt off—looking at a tiny newborn and thinking, “Oh no, another boy. Let’s try again.” I had to reconcile the thought that I might not have a daughter, as I always envisioned having one, but I’ve never felt let down by my sons. If I had a daughter alongside them, of course I would love her just as much, but I’ve never looked at my boys and wished they were girls instead. Right now, I’m focused on my three wonderful kids, and I don’t think about any additional children.
Three is more than enough for us. When people suggest we should “try for a girl,” it frustrates me. It’s as if my family can’t be complete without having at least one of each. I can only imagine how pregnancy hormones would amplify my irritation if we were considering another baby, especially if someone commented, “I hope it’s a girl,” while glancing from my boys to my pregnant belly.
I heard similar remarks while expecting my third child, and I sometimes wanted to respond with, “Do you want him? I’m only having a third to try for a girl,” just to highlight how absurd those comments are. I genuinely don’t feel like I’m missing out by having “only” boys, nor do I think I need a daughter to complete my family.
My boys are incredible, albeit a bit wild at times, and I adore every moment of being a boy mom. My family feels perfect just the way it is.
For those curious about the journey of family building, you can check out some insights on home insemination or learn about fertility options at Hopkins Medicine. If you’re considering ways to boost fertility, Make a Mom offers valuable resources on that topic.
In summary, I embrace my life with three boys and feel fulfilled as a mom. My family unit is complete, and I wouldn’t change a thing.