Long before the term “helicopter parent” entered our vocabulary, there was the quintessential Jewish Mother. All-knowing, endlessly nurturing, and always equipped with a comforting hug and a bowl of chicken soup to remedy any ailment or boost our spirits. Forget about our aspirations for a moment—first, let me whip you up a plate of food; you look too skinny! This art of food-pushing is just one of the invaluable lessons imparted to every Jewish girl by her mother.
It matters little whether we’re squeezing into skinny jeans or opting for comfort in our favorite sweatpants; when it comes to hosting holiday dinners or planning meals, the mantra is simple: more is always better. To a Jewish mother, we are forever perceived as not eating enough, and she’ll always send us home with a hefty bag filled with leftovers: beet salad, a slice of brisket, kasha varnishkes, and matzo balls—enough to last us a week. “Take this home, just in case,” she’ll insist.
We learn the importance of marrying a “nice Jewish boy,” though if our paths diverge, we’re reminded that the essence of Judaism flows through the mother. “As long as you raise the grandchildren Jewish,” she’ll say, and it’s clear that a bustling family of Jewish grandchildren is the ultimate goal.
Daughters of Jewish mothers are a unique breed, absorbing lessons both overt and nuanced. For instance, mandatory Shabbat dinners aren’t just a religious practice; they’re about gathering the family around the table at least once a week. When evaluating a potential partner, we often use Shabbat dinner as a litmus test: If he’s someone we’d feel comfortable bringing home, he’s a keeper; if not, it’s time to move on.
We learn that intelligence and quirks matter far more than wealth and looks in a life partner. Intelligent partners tend to find their financial footing, and those who are a bit nerdy will treat us like royalty. Of course, a little financial stability doesn’t hurt.
Many lessons seem universally applicable, yet they resonate deeply with the teachings of our Jewish mothers. Imagine Emily Post embracing her Jewish heritage and becoming Emily “Shayna Punim” Postensteinowitzky-berger. We learn to never arrive empty-handed to someone’s home; a gift for the host is a must. In uncertain situations, offering food becomes our go-to response—when someone is going through a tough time, a platter of bagels is far more appropriate than flowers. And let’s not forget that the healing properties of chicken soup deserve their own food group!
From our mothers, we also learn about the potent mix of guilt and superstition. Anything that could go wrong might just happen. We’re taught that guilt is a way of life, applied to every scenario imaginable: guilt for eating too much, guilt for not eating enough, guilt for visiting, guilt for not visiting—the list goes on. Yet, our mothers are generally okay with our choices as long as they mirror the decisions they would have made for us. “I’m fine, don’t change your plans for me,” often translates to “I’m actually uncomfortable. Please change everything for me.” And if we’re chilly, we are advised to tell our children to put on a sweater.
We learn that nothing is ever quite satisfactory—neither the first table at a restaurant nor the first hotel room we’re assigned. When selecting a loaf of bread, we never take the one in front; we choose from the back to ensure fewer hands have touched it. Even if we see the bakery clerk serving a half-loaf to the person ahead of us, we must request a “fresh one.”
Every Jewish girl learns to be a nurturer, an endless source of love and compassion for those around her, often accompanied by an abundance of worry. Each nugget of wisdom passed down from our mothers has proven useful, even the ones we vowed to ignore. Thus, thanks to our Jewish mothers—and despite our husbands’ collective exasperation—we often find ourselves becoming just like them.
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Summary
The lessons imparted by Jewish mothers are rich and varied, encompassing everything from nurturing and family values to the importance of food and guilt. These teachings shape Jewish girls into compassionate, loving individuals, often with a dash of humor and self-awareness.