I’ve never hired a babysitter before. Usually, I rely on my mother-in-law to help out for a few hours so I can whisk my husband away for a rare date night. This seldom happens for many reasons, but mostly because being at the grandparents’ house gives my kids a sense of freedom that can lead to chaos.
I’ve decided it’s time to enlist some professional help. I want to have a reliable babysitter saved in my contacts, ready to step in and take care of my little ones (and my home) whenever I need a break.
If I were to post a help-wanted ad, it might read like this:
WANTED: On-Demand Babysitter
A stay-at-home mom of two energetic children under five seeks an adaptable childcare expert. Must have a dependable vehicle and a willingness to navigate the most rugged rural roads. A positive attitude and flexibility are essential. Pay will be commensurate with experience.
Key Qualities Needed:
- Can withstand a playful punch or an unexpected “Kung-Fu” kick.
- Skilled in juggling while performing magic tricks.
- Fluent in toddler languages: Whine-ese, Sass-Mouth, and Mom-Voice.
- Master of the infamous Evil Mom Glare.
- Capable of refereeing rambunctious games like superhero leaps from the couch or wild dog rides.
- No qualms about fibbing to encourage healthy eating (you’ll shrink if you don’t eat your veggies!) or bedtime routines (your chocolate stash will vanish if you stay up!).
- Must possess superhero-like speed to chase down kids or run faster than a cheetah.
- Can burp the entire alphabet on cue.
- Comfortable speaking in rhymes or using a high-pitched voice that sends pets scurrying.
- Maintains composure after being asked the same question a staggering number of times.
- Tolerates repeated viewings of Frozen (ear plugs are in the kitchen next to the wine—just don’t touch my wine!).
- Best friends with characters like Elmo, Caillou, or Peppa Pig—those lovable nuisances of childhood.
- Strong upper body required for carrying two kids at once or being climbed like a jungle gym.
- Must not bruise easily or take toddler antics to heart; able to keep a straight face when a four-year-old boasts about their “bigger than yours” poop.
- Can handle frequent check-in calls from me or long chats with my mother-in-law while ensuring the kids stay safe.
- Fresh breath is a must—no onion breath, please.
- Must possess a sense of humor that can withstand fart contests.
- Able to read the same bedtime story repeatedly without losing enthusiasm.
- Willing to work evenings and weekends.
- Able to remain patient during my inevitable second-guessing before leaving the house.
Seems like a reasonable list, right? What would you add to yours?
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In summary, finding the right babysitter can be a daunting task, but being clear about the skills and traits you seek will make the process smoother and more effective.