As a devoted mom, I adore my little ones with a fierce passion that rivals a celebrity’s obsession with social media. However, there are moments when I’d gladly send them off to play elsewhere, just for a little breather. Here are five scenarios when I wish I could have a moment to myself.
1. Late-Night Interruptions
Hey there, buddy! Those sounds you hear at night are raccoons rummaging through trash cans and owls in search of their dinner. They serve as a reminder that it’s time for you to be fast asleep. If you need a hug or some comfort because you’re feeling scared, I totally understand. But when you come to me for a snack at 3 a.m. because you skipped dinner, or to scratch that bug bite, I’m sorry, but I’m not awake enough for that. Bye for now!
2. When They’re a Mess
Sweetheart, if you’re drenched in: pee, poop, puke, syrup, mud, or any other questionable substance—please, for the love of cleanliness, step outside and wait by the garden hose. Even if you were covered in something fancy like Sauvignon Blanc, I’d need a moment to gather myself before diving into the clean-up.
3. Early Morning Surprises
Just like being woken up in the dead of night, being jolted awake too early will earn you a disappointed glare. Seriously, kiddo, just because the sun shines through your window doesn’t mean you need to leap onto my bed without so much as a coffee in hand. Next time, a donut would be a great negotiation tactic!
4. When It’s Time for Romance
Unless we’re part of a culture that celebrates witnessing the creation of life, it’s downright awkward when you wander into the bedroom to question why your parents are snuggled together. Extra points for the confusion when you ask if Daddy is hurting me—let’s just say, back out of the room slowly and pretend this never happened!
5. Bathroom Boundaries
No matter what, you seem to follow me into the bathroom every single time. You manage to ask loud enough for the neighbors to hear whether I’m about to PEE or POO and if you can come in. This revenge for potty training is a little too real, and I would appreciate some privacy during my “potty breaks,” not a full-blown conference!
It’s completely normal for parents to crave a little solitude from their kids now and then. But before you know it, those little ones will be back, because let’s be honest—your kids are irresistibly lovable most of the time.
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Summary: In this light-hearted take on parenting, we explore five occasions when parents might enjoy a brief escape from their children. From late-night snack requests to unexpected bathroom visits, every mom can relate to these amusing scenarios that highlight the joys and challenges of motherhood.