Today, during a stroll through town, I crossed paths with you, and I can’t shake off the feeling that I didn’t express myself as I intended. I want to take a moment to revisit that encounter.
Our day was a bit chaotic. Honestly, everything felt off. I had consumed way too much caffeine, and my heart was racing, a consequence of yet another restless night (with my little one playing a significant role in that). After missing our usual morning walk due to nap time, we opted for an afternoon jaunt to the candy store, making several stops along the way for chats and letting my older son pet a dog. It turned out that our unusual schedule allowed me to meet you, and for that, I’m grateful.
As we neared home, I felt someone approaching from behind. A quick glance revealed your bright orange double stroller. Embarrassed, I waved and continued walking, but then I called out, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stare. Just curious about who was behind me!” As you approached, I saw your two little ones—one peacefully asleep and the other awake, his striking blue eyes catching the sunlight. We exchanged pleasantries about our kids—your twins, my one-year-old daughter, and my six-year-old son. In that moment, I felt a rush of relief that my “baby” is no longer an infant. While I cherish those early days, I sensed the struggles weighing on you.
When I asked how you were doing, you mentioned that the walk was therapeutic today. I should’ve shared that my walks are therapy for me every single day. Instead, you opened up about your challenges with breastfeeding and how you recently stopped nursing your twins. I could see the emotion behind your words as you brushed your hair away from your face. You poured out your heart, and I listened, trying to convey with my expression that you didn’t owe me an explanation. Perhaps you needed to share this for your own peace of mind. I wanted to reassure you that although things may feel overwhelming now, they will improve. Yet, I left feeling I hadn’t said enough; here’s what I wish I had conveyed:
First and foremost, parenting is tough.
It’s really, really tough, and nobody prepares you for it. The love you have for your little ones is profound, yet it can also feel like it might break you. Embrace those feelings; it’s okay to feel that way. I used to be afraid, but I’ve learned that while the challenges don’t disappear, I’m finding ways to cope with my heart being laid bare in these little humans I’ve created.
Your babies are healthy and thriving because you nourish them; that’s what truly counts. I know it hurts to let go of breastfeeding; I felt that void when my son weaned himself. It’s a sorrowful moment, realizing that after so long, you have your body back but also feel an emptiness. That feeling does fade over time, even if it seems impossible now.
Don’t let guilt consume you. If you’re feeling it, I empathize. I grapple with “mom guilt” daily over various things—what I said, what I didn’t say, what I did, or didn’t do. It’s all part of the journey, so let’s support each other through this.
Yes, it’s challenging right now. The sleepless nights, the feeding struggles—but the rewards are worth it! I noticed you watching my son gently guide my daughter down the sidewalk, admiring her “little, white teeth.” Those moments of pure joy amidst the chaos are incredible. I feel privileged to be their mother and witness their growth.
Be gentle with yourself. You are doing your best, and while it may not feel like enough at times, it truly is. Keep up with those walks; fresh air really does wonders. I won’t preach about napping when they do, as I hated hearing that myself. Just find ways to care for yourself.
Lastly, let’s keep walking together. I’m a coffee lover with a penchant for chocolate, and I may let a swear slip now and then, but those walks are essential for me, too.
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Summary
In reflecting on my encounter with a new mom, I realized the importance of sharing the truth about the struggles of parenting. It’s a journey filled with challenges, love, and growth. We must support one another, embrace our feelings, and remember that while the journey can be tough, it is also incredibly rewarding.