My partner and I never envisioned ourselves with a “big” family. In fact, if either of us had mentioned wanting a brood of this size during our dating days, the other would have likely taken off running. Now, however, we find ourselves embracing this beautiful chaos and wouldn’t trade a single child for anything. With larger families becoming less common these days, many are curious about how it all works. Here are 10 lessons I’ve learned from raising a big family.
1. What Constitutes a ‘Large’ Family?
The definition of a large family varies widely. For some, just having three kids qualifies as large. For me, with five children at home, I consider seven or more as a true big family. It all depends on your perspective. I’ve come to realize that for many, five kids is indeed a big family. It’s a bit like defining “old”—it always seems to be at least twenty years older than you are!
2. Spontaneity? Forget It!
When you have a big family, spontaneity takes a backseat. I once decided to leave for a trip a day early on a whim. Though the laundry was done, it took us a whopping FIVE hours to finally get out the door!
3. Plan for Extra Travel Time
If the average family takes four hours to drive somewhere, expect it to take six to eight hours with a crew of your size. With potty breaks, diaper changes, quick feedings, and letting the kids stretch their legs at rest stops, the journey becomes quite the adventure. And don’t forget the time it takes to get everyone back in the vehicle!
4. Private Time? What’s That?
The number of children in your home directly correlates with interruptions. This includes everything—from your morning coffee to romantic moments with your partner. If you manage to sneak in romance during a laundry transfer, consider yourself lucky! A lock on the laundry room door can be a lifesaver.
5. Endless Laundry
Laundry is a never-ending cycle. I can honestly say I’ve never lost a child in the laundry room or had anyone buried under a mountain of unmatched socks—yet. But let’s be real, the risk is there!
6. Shifting Dreams
My aspirations have evolved. Instead of dreaming about vacations to far-off places, I now fantasize about industrial-grade appliances. A double set of washers and dryers, a walk-in freezer, soundproof rooms for each child, and a kitchen with a massive table to accommodate everyone are now at the top of my wish list.
7. Grocery Bills Are Eye-Opening
The cost of feeding a large family isn’t for the faint-hearted. With three boys in the house, I’ve seriously considered buying a small farm. Growing our own food, including raising cattle, might just be the answer to budget-friendly meals during their teenage years!
8. Forget About Gas Mileage
When you’re carting around a big crew, fuel efficiency is not a priority. I’ve yet to find an affordable vehicle that accommodates our family without being a total gas guzzler.
9. Early Bedtimes Are Essential
New friends are often shocked to learn that my kids are in bed by 7:30 PM. It’s a survival tactic. Those precious moments of quiet after bedtime are crucial for our sanity. Sure, my partner might doze off on the couch soon after, but those few minutes of peace are priceless.
10. Embrace the Noise and Chaos
There’s no way to have this many people under one roof without embracing the noise and chaos. I’ve accepted that my home will never win any “home beautiful” awards. It’s a lively place with children, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Will we expand our family further? Only time will tell. For more insights on family planning and parenting, check out this informative post on the intracervical insemination blog.
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In summary, raising a large family is a unique journey filled with joy, challenges, and a lot of love. Embracing the chaos and planning for the unexpected is key to thriving in this beautiful adventure.