I think it’s time for a little family chat. You see, we might be a tad unconventional, and I’ve noticed that we tend to overshare with strangers. Maybe we’re more normal than I think, but it seems everyone else’s kids know when to keep certain topics to themselves. I realized this during our last restaurant visit when one of you excitedly yelled, “It’s my turn to hold the vibrator!” upon receiving the pager. At that moment, I knew a discussion was necessary.
Let’s be clear: you likely don’t know what a vibrator is (and I hope you don’t!). You were simply enjoying the sensation of the pager, but it might be best if we avoid putting those things against our skin in the future. Who knows where they’ve been, right?
Let’s Try This
So, how about we try this? Let’s lower our voices a bit and refrain from shouting in public spaces. It would save me from wanting to find a cozy corner to hide in! And I know you get super excited about new toothbrushes, but if I need a quick bathroom break, it’s not the right time to unleash your dental hygiene routine at the water fountain. Following instructions is always the best choice—always!
The other day, you declared you had to take a “Trump dump” before heading off to the bathroom, and while I couldn’t help but chuckle, I want you to understand that some things are best kept private. Just because I laughed doesn’t mean it’s okay to repeat it, especially in front of guests. Let’s keep our amusing moments to ourselves so we can enjoy our visitors without embarrassment.
And I get it, walking in on me during a private moment last year was shocking, but that’s a story we really don’t need to revisit. I was overwhelmed, and nobody wants to discuss that anymore. Remember that when someone is in the bathroom, knocking is a good idea.
Later, when Dad was on the couch, looking rather uncomfortable, I explained that he had a minor procedure done. You equated it to when we had the puppy fixed, which was cute, but when you started telling people Dad “got his balls chopped off,” we had a problem. If it involves private parts, please check with me or Dad before sharing with others.
I appreciate your creative outlets, like hissing when you’re upset; it’s much better than yelling! But let’s save that for our family and not direct it at adults, especially teachers.
Being Mindful
As you’ve grown, it’s time to be more mindful about what we share. Let’s keep our quirky family moments within our four walls. By doing so, we’ll likely get invited to more outings, and that’s certainly more fun than embarrassing me every time we step out! Plus, if I’m not stressed out, I might even spend less on stress relief.
In summary, we can still be our fun selves while being a bit more discreet. Let’s embrace our uniqueness but remember that some things are better kept just between us.
Love,
Mom
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