Parenting
Keep Your Hands Off My Baby’s Mouth!
by Jessica Lane
Updated: Sep. 21, 2023
Before I embraced the adventure of motherhood, I was convinced no one could be more prepared for it than I was. I envisioned a smooth transition into the first year of parenting, where everything would unfold effortlessly. I pictured myself strolling through town with my baby snugly attached to my chest, and I just knew that breastfeeding would magically transform my body back to its pre-baby glory.
Reality, however, had other plans. My attempt at baby-wearing turned me into a linebacker rather than the graceful mama I had imagined. And as for breastfeeding? Let’s just say it didn’t exactly speed up my metabolism, even though I was feeding my little angel every three hours.
On top of everything, I had to contend with the public. Why didn’t anyone prepare me for the onslaught of strangers?
No one warned me that people seem to lose their minds when they see a newborn. I had no idea that the sight of a tiny baby could send folks into a frenzy. My first child was born in November, just in time for a massive blizzard that hit Brooklyn. It was freezing, and the snow piled up while the mayor seemed to be vacationing somewhere tropical. So, there I was, a new mom trapped indoors. Sorry, kiddo!
Being cooped up makes you a little anti-social, and having a newborn amplifies every paranoid thought you can imagine. Add to that the inexplicable urge people have to stick their fingers in babies’ mouths, and you’ve got a recipe for chaos.
Seriously, what is it with people thinking it’s okay to A) poke their fingers in your baby’s mouth, or B) shove their entire hand in there? How does that ever seem like a good idea? “Hey there, little buddy with a developing immune system! I just hopped off the subway. No biggie that I brushed against someone who looked like they hadn’t showered in a week!”
And then, of course, there’s the social event where you finally decide to take your baby out. “Relax! Let me hold your baby! You must be exhausted! Go grab a glass of wine!” And there goes your little one, handed over to someone who thinks it’s adorable to declare they could just “eat them up,” while they actually let your baby’s hand disappear into their mouth. Fantastic! I’m sure my three-month-old is just thrilled to share germs with someone who has a chronic cold sore.
So, to all the expectant moms out there: perhaps you’ll achieve the motherhood you’ve always dreamed of, but just know, people will be eager to stick their dirty hands in your baby’s mouth. If you’re looking for some strategies to handle this, you might just end up being the maternal queen you’ve always wanted to be.
For more insights on navigating pregnancy and home insemination, check out this helpful resource. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination kits, you can find authoritative options here.
Summary:
Motherhood often comes with unexpected challenges, especially when it comes to dealing with the public’s intrusive behaviors around newborns. From the awkwardness of baby-wearing to the unexpected germ-sharing moments, new moms have to navigate an array of social situations while trying to protect their little ones. Be prepared for the reality of motherhood, and remember that the support and strategies are out there.