Just call me “Overprotective Mom.” I’ll admit it: I tracked my teen’s cell phone, and I don’t regret it one bit. Sure, he’s a good kid, and I wanted to trust him. But as my firstborn transitioned from junior high to high school—and started driving—my nerves escalated. I thought about hiring a private investigator to keep tabs on him, but thankfully, a simpler, more cost-effective solution was available: phone tracking.
While I longed to give him complete freedom, we’re talking about teenagers, who can be just as mischievous as toddlers when it comes to testing boundaries (the only difference is that now they often tower over us). Left to their own devices, teens can encounter dangers that far exceed scraped knees or minor bruises. I knew my son needed guidance just as much as he did when he was little.
Stage 1: Safety
This could be called the “Just in Case Something Goes Wrong” phase. Initially, my focus was on ensuring my son’s safety. If he went hiking with friends, I wanted to be able to locate him quickly in case of an emergency—be it a snake bite or an unexpected twist in their adventure. (Okay, maybe Southern California doesn’t host king cobras or alligators, but a parent’s imagination can run wild.) Knowing I could track his location gave me the confidence to allow him some independence.
Stage 2: Confirmation
Ironically, I thought this stage would be my main reason for tracking him, providing proof that he was where he said he would be. However, I ended up using the tracking feature sparingly. Over four years, I only caught him once. The summer before his sophomore year, a group of older girls took an interest in him and his friends—who didn’t have licenses yet. I permitted him to hang out at the beach but prohibited him from getting rides from anyone. One day, when I hadn’t heard from him for a while, my instincts kicked in, and I checked the tracking app. My heart sank when I saw he was five miles from the beach at a park.
“Where are you?” I texted him.
“Beach,” he replied.
Busted.
In no time, he was back home beside me, looking guilty as I laid down the law about trust and honesty. I claimed I had a friend who saw him at the park, keeping my tracking secret safe. Thankfully, he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate, but he had broken the rules. After that incident, he never crossed the boundaries again. Some parents might use GPS tracking to catch their teens misbehaving, but for me, it became a tool to grant him more freedom as I confirmed he was responsible and respectful.
Stage 3: Convenience
During this stage, tracking became more transparent. After revealing to my son that the Find My iPhone app was linked to my account, I used it for practical reasons. Most parents preach against texting and driving, and I took it a step further by requiring him to lock his phone in the glove box while driving. However, this meant I sometimes lost track of him when it came to dinner plans. I often needed to know if he was still at baseball practice or on his way home. A quick check on the app saved me from serving soggy spaghetti.
Stage 4: Reassurance
I confess I’ve always been a bit anxious, and GPS tracking has been a lot cheaper than therapy. There were times I forgot to ask him to text me when he arrived at his destination, and I didn’t want to pester him with calls. Instead, I could check his location and see he made it safely—what a relief! Often, I would go to bed before his 11:30 p.m. curfew, only to wake up and wonder if he was home. Thanks to GPS, I could stay cozy in bed and verify that he was indeed home sweet home.
When my son graduated and got a new phone, I briefly considered asking if he’d let me track him at college, just to ease my worries. But I didn’t ask. After all, his younger brother just got his first iPhone, and I still had him to keep an eye on.
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To summarize, tracking my teen’s cell phone evolved through various stages—from ensuring safety to providing reassurance. Initially motivated by concern, I found that it allowed me to grant him more freedom as he demonstrated responsibility.