Dear Daughters,
As you grow older, your father and I realize we have less influence over your choices when you’re away from home. From our experiences, we know if you truly want to do something—whether it’s a good idea or not—you’ll find a way to make it happen, even under restrictive circumstances.
Our hope is that you will choose to wait until after high school to engage in sexual activity, and even better, until you find someone who genuinely loves and respects you. Here are our reasons for this desire:
- Word Spreads Quickly: Trust me, if you become sexually active in high school, news will travel. Even if you and your partner vow to keep it a secret, someone will eventually find out. Before you know it, the whole school—including the lunch lady—will be aware of your private life.
- Double Standards Still Exist: Unfortunately, society hasn’t changed much in how it judges girls who are sexually active. Boys may be congratulated, while girls can be labeled negatively. Even if your partner is kind and respectful, perceptions can shift dramatically once your peers learn about your sexual experiences.
- You’re Not Alone: Contrary to what pop culture depicts, not everyone is having sex in high school. According to a 2013 study, only 35% of teens are sexually active. Surrounding yourself with the 65% who are not can help you feel more confident in your choices.
- Your Brain is Still Developing: Research suggests that teenagers process emotions differently than adults, often relying on instinct rather than rational thought. This can lead to impulsive decisions. Waiting until you’re older will allow for clearer thinking and better judgment in relationships.
- Risks of Early Sexual Activity: Engaging in sex at a young age comes with significant risks, including unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. It’s crucial to be aware that while contraceptives can help, they are not foolproof. The consequences of a poor decision can last a lifetime.
- Body Image Matters: Adolescence is a time of heightened self-awareness. Introducing a sexual partner during this period can have lasting effects on how you view yourself. A critical partner during these formative years can lead to insecurity and body image issues that might take years to overcome.
- Timing is Everything: Sex can be a wonderful experience, but it’s best enjoyed when both timing and partner are right. Nature may push you towards sexual desire, but taking the time to make thoughtful decisions is essential.
- Curfews Exist for a Reason: When I was your age, I realized why my parents set strict rules for dating. After a somewhat reckless night, I understood the importance of boundaries. We set these guidelines because we genuinely care about your safety and well-being.
- Because I Said So: Sometimes, that’s just how it is.
- Mistakes Are Part of Life: I made my share of mistakes in college, including dealing with health issues that could have been avoided. The journey of understanding sexuality is complex, and it’s essential to approach it with care and respect.
Remember, sex is a big responsibility that deserves careful consideration. Have patience, because while it may seem difficult, the rewards of waiting can be great. Your father and I love you unconditionally and want you to feel comfortable discussing anything, including relationships and sex.
For more information on family planning and fertility, you can check out this excellent resource about pregnancy. And if you’re interested in fertility supplements, here’s a link to helpful products.
Love,
Your Mom