A while back, I had a chat with a friend about our daily routines. At that time, I was a stay-at-home mom, while he held a fancy title at a well-known advertising agency—something like “Chief of Creative Brand Collaborations.” Curious, I asked him what that really involved.
“I manage creative brand collaborations,” he replied, sounding a bit annoyed.
“What does that even mean?” I pressed.
“I facilitate creative brand collaborations,” he reiterated, clearly trying to simplify the concept for me.
“So, when you walk into your office each morning, coffee in hand, what do you actually do until 6 p.m.?” I asked, as if explaining it to a child.
“I send emails,” he answered. “What about you?”
“I clean stuff,” I replied.
Motherhood comes with various labels: homemaker, domestic engineer, working mom, full-time mom, stay-at-home mom, or work-at-home mom. But if we strip away the titles and focus on the daily tasks, it’s clear that my primary role is that of a cleaner.
To be fair, it’s not all about wiping surfaces. I also do my fair share of scrubbing, folding, and sweeping. Nonetheless, when you look closely at my daily responsibilities, it’s hard to ignore that I essentially operate as a cleaning lady.
The real issue is that I’m not particularly fond of cleaning. I dread chores that require constant repetition, like doing dishes, laundry, or tidying the living room. I feel the same way about personal grooming; often, while in the shower, I find myself thinking, “Didn’t I just do this yesterday?”
Having a baby brings many surprises: the pain of childbirth, the financial burden of childcare, and the unsolicited advice about dressing your baby appropriately, even in warm weather. But what truly caught me off guard—something no one ever mentioned—was how the amount of cleaning skyrockets. (If I could invent a word for ten times the cleaning, I would!)
Before kids, my husband and I casually managed chores. We’d wash a few dishes each night and vacuum occasionally. But once children arrived, a single meal turned our kitchen into a disaster zone. Breakfast looks as if a food fight broke out, with toast crusts strewn everywhere and jam mysteriously spattered on high surfaces. For each meal, we seem to dirty a mountain of dishes, cutting boards, and utensils, while grit remains an ever-present companion on the floor, no matter how often I clean.
The dirty dishes feel as if they’re on a conveyor belt. In those early days of being a stay-at-home mom, I would jokingly tell my husband, “You know who Sisyphus’ wife was? Dishyphus. While he was out making a name for himself, she was home battling the remnants of breakfast.” Then, I’d find myself in tears. Eventually, my wise husband suggested we rethink how we divided our household chores.
Yet, even with both of us pitching in, it feels like a never-ending task. Together, we spend nearly every waking hour trying to clean up after our little tornadoes. One child likes to cut paper into impossibly small pieces, while another has left their artistic mark in the form of crayon on the walls. And let’s not even get started on the mess that follows them from the front door to the living room.
When you give birth in a hospital, they should hand each new mother a supply of microfiber cloths, rags, and paper towels, alongside the usual parenting classes. They could say, “Get ready for it; breastfeeding and diaper changes are temporary, but cleaning? That’s a lifelong commitment.”
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Summary:
Motherhood often feels like a never-ending cycle of cleaning, despite the various titles we use to describe it. The responsibilities can be surprising, and the amount of daily chores can feel overwhelming. Yet, with humor and support, we navigate this chaotic journey together.