Children grow up at lightning speed, and if you’re having one of those days when you find yourself asking, “How soon until this little one has to move out and find a job?” you’re not alone. Those days can feel endless.
Last night, as we watched little Lily take her first wobbly steps, Mark turned to me and asked, “If scientists discovered a way to halt aging, would you want to have more kids?” I laughed out loud before replying with a firm, “Absolutely not.” My own certainty surprised me, but the reasons quickly came to mind: nine months of physical discomfort, followed by the excruciating pain of childbirth, and that terrifying moment when the doctor said, “I can’t figure out where all this blood is coming from.” Yikes.
Despite the finality of that decision, I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness. Lily is already 18 months old, and I’ll never again experience those precious first smiles, or her adorable scrunched-up face during her first taste of that dreadful rice cereal gruel. sniff But with every sentimental thought, I remind myself of the baby-related experiences I’m relieved to have behind me.
- The unforgettable first time your baby spits up with such force that everyone needs to jump into the bathtub—clothes and all.
- Discovering the first dried-up umbilical cord stump, floating mysteriously in the footie pajamas.
- That nerve-wracking first call to Poison Control.
- The initial shock of hearing the operator chuckle after you report, “My baby just ate Butt Paste.”
- The first time you venture out without a diaper bag, leading to a creative sock-and-tape diaper fix while trying to avoid touching anything in a public restroom.
- The moment your nursing infant yanks out your hoop earring in one sudden motion.
- The diaper explosion that requires the complete disassembly and sanitization of a pack-n-play.
- Realizing far too late that your shirt is covered in two massive wet spots after hours of being out in public.
- The long sleepless night when your baby cries for seven hours, only to fall asleep just five minutes before your alarm goes off.
- The delayed baby-proofing moment when you finally install a cabinet latch on the changing table after discovering your baby joyfully creating a baby powder explosion.
See? I feel relieved just thinking about it! Perhaps I should retitle this to “10 Baby Milestones I’m Grateful I’m Probably Done Experiencing,” although we still have our little one around, so it’s not too late for her to try some Butt Paste.
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In summary, while it’s bittersweet to leave behind the firsts of babyhood, there’s a certain relief in knowing what experiences we can skip in the future.