After spending years in a haze of motherhood, I finally emerged from my lactation phase. No, I didn’t nurse my kids into their school years; rather, I welcomed four little ones in just five years! During that time, I was too busy juggling hormones and sleepless nights to devise clever retorts for those who felt the need to comment on my public breastfeeding. I remember one passerby saying, “Why don’t you try that at home?” and all I could think was, “You’d better step back!” But hey, now that I’m out of that chaotic whirlwind, I’m here to arm breastfeeding moms with some witty comebacks.
1. If ads can use cleavage to sell beer and cars, I can certainly use mine for a snack!
2. Do you eat your meals in the restroom?
3. Great suggestion! You can borrow my blanket to cover your eyes.
4. Sorry to break it to you, but breasts serve more than just one purpose.
5. Good thing you have a neck! Feel free to turn your head.
6. Nursing is way easier for me; I can’t hold a bottle and my wine glass at the same time!
7. Oops! My baby just happened to find my 36Longs—my mistake!
8. If you’re looking for a snack, just wait your turn, buddy.
9. If this bothers you, you should’ve seen the placenta. Oh, by the way, I have photos!
10. Trust me, I’m more shocked by my giant areola than you are.
So if you’re caught in a lactation fog, take a deep breath and practice these responses. Being a great mom means being ready for anything, especially when faced with critics. And if you happen to be one of those critics—well, let’s just say, it’s not the best way to make friends!
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In summary, don’t let others make you feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public. Arm yourself with these comebacks and embrace your journey with confidence!