Recently, during a candid moment of reflection, someone playfully accused me of believing I had all the answers to parenting. I found that quite amusing because I’ve never claimed to be an expert in this chaotic world of raising kids. In fact, I often feel like I’m fumbling through it all, constantly noting what I need to discuss with my kids during their therapy sessions. The last thing I would ever consider myself is a parenting guru.
My Sleeping Situation
Let’s take my sleeping situation as a prime example. I often joke about the nightly game of musical beds my family plays, but the reality is quite the opposite of humorous. My back hurts, and my husband and I are more than ready to reclaim our space from this unintentional family bed scenario.
How Did We End Up Here?
So, how did we end up here? Let’s rewind a bit. When Ella was born, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for not being able to breastfeed her. To compensate, I let her sleep on my chest, convinced it would help us bond. (Thanks to all the breastfeeding advocates out there for that pressure!) The early years were a whirlwind of sleepless nights—she would cry in her crib for hours unless someone was right there with her. Thankfully, she eventually grew out of it and enjoyed a few blissful years of independent sleep. That was until we moved into this house.
Ella’s room, a dreamy sanctuary for a little girl, is located on the third floor, far away from the rest of the bedrooms. However, she’s terrified of being up there alone. We’ve tried every trick in the book—nightlights, comforting stuffed animals, soothing music—but nothing seems to help. Ella insists on sleeping on the couch in our room, leaving me puzzled and frustrated.
Meet Jake and Max
Now, let’s talk about Jake, our “golden sleeper.” We learned from Ella’s experiences, and Jake transitioned to sleeping in his crib by three months old with ease. A couple of bedtime songs and a gentle pat on the back, and that was it. Pure bliss. Unfortunately, after a tonsillectomy at age two, he ended up in our room, and those few weeks turned into months. I can count on one hand how many times he’s actually slept in his own room since then, and he’s even cheekily referred to me as his roommate.
Then we have little Max, who will only sleep in his own room if I’m there when he drifts off. The moment he wakes, he bolts—literally running—to find me. It’s a constant cycle, and honestly, it’s exhausting.
Seeking Advice
So, I turn to you, fellow “parenting experts”: What should I do? Have I completely messed things up? I can’t stand hearing them cry, but is tough love the only solution left? I’ve attempted every approach I can think of, and I’m at a total loss—never would I pretend otherwise.
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Conclusion
In summary, navigating parenting can feel overwhelming, especially when your kids refuse to sleep alone. It’s a learning experience filled with trial and error, and seeking advice is part of the journey.