I was taken aback by her candid remarks, feeling a mix of hurt and understanding. While I saw a tender moment of a father helping his daughter with algebra, she only saw her messy morning hair and worn pajamas. To her, this wasn’t a cherished memory; it was an embarrassing snapshot of her waking self, juxtaposed against the cool, composed image she often presents to the world.
I completely understand her perspective. Not long ago, I untagged myself from a photo a friend shared on Facebook. To him, it was a joyful recollection with friends from decades past, but for me, it was a painful reminder of a time when I felt deeply unhappy. His tagging brought that version of me back to life, and I quickly hit delete.
What I perceived as a beautiful family moment, she viewed as a moment of pre-teen awkwardness. Years ago, I might have posted such a picture without thinking twice, but now that she’s 12 and active on social media, everything has changed.
After much pleading, I finally created an Instagram account for her on her birthday. Even though I feel uneasy about it—given the potential pitfalls of social media—I thought it would be a good way for her to explore this new world under our watchful eye before she dives deeper into it. Honestly, thoughts of Snapchat, cyberbullying, and dating apps like Tinder make me want to retreat to a remote cabin in the mountains.
Surprisingly, her venture into Instagram has taught me several valuable lessons about my own social media habits:
- Pause Before Posting: Everything shared online leaves a lasting mark. Before you hit share, consider whether this is something you want to be associated with forever—perhaps even by future employers or family members. My daughter’s presence on social media has prompted me to think carefully about the implications of my posts.
- Consider Others: While you may love a picture, consider if it could upset someone else. I’ve learned to discuss my posts with my children. If they’re uncomfortable with something, I respect their feelings and keep it private. Mutual respect should reign both online and offline.
- Curate Your Circle: My Facebook friends list has grown quite large over the years, filled with people I barely know. As I screen who follows my daughter’s account, it’s made me reconsider my own friend list and clean up my profile to maintain a clear boundary between personal and professional posts.
- Share for Yourself, Not for Likes: It’s easy to get caught up in the number of likes a post receives. I’ve had discussions with my daughter about sharing what truly matters to her rather than seeking validation through likes. It has reminded me that authenticity is far more rewarding than striving for popularity.
- Be Present: Does every moment need to be documented? At first, my daughter was glued to her phone, and I began to reflect on whether I was doing the same. Capturing a moment can sometimes overshadow the joy of simply experiencing it. Learning to manage our time on social media has been a crucial lesson for both of us.
Parenting is a journey of mutual learning, and as my daughter navigates her social media experience, I find myself reassessing my own practices. I cherish watching her grow and develop her photography skills, even as I cringe at some of her social connections. Parenting combines awe with a healthy dose of concern, especially as we step into the vast realm of social media together.
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Summary: Through my tween’s experiences with social media, I’ve gained valuable insights about online behavior, the importance of mutual respect, and the need for authenticity. As we navigate this new terrain together, it’s a mix of learning, growth, and a little worry, reminding me that parenting is as much about the journey as it is about the destination.