Having spent a decade in matrimony, I’ve come to realize that my mother-in-law, Linda, is one of my greatest allies. When I need to make sense of my husband, Tom’s quirks—like his habit of leaving shoes right by the front door or his uncanny ability to miss the laundry basket—Linda is the one who can help. She has a knack for spinning an entertaining tale, enjoys a glass (or two) of wine during Sunday dinners, and can charm store clerks into accepting returns against all odds. Plus, at her age, she still knows how to dance the night away to some blues!
While I cherish my friendship with Linda, it’s not without challenges. We’ve navigated some rocky patches, especially when our conversations ventured into territory that brought up past grievances. So, if you’re fortunate enough to have a close bond with your mother-in-law and want to keep it thriving, here are eight essential rules to follow:
- Avoid Discussing Intimacy: Let’s be honest—do you really want to hear about Linda’s romantic escapades? Keep your personal life private; to her, your kids are the result of a miraculous conception.
- Don’t Complain About Your Kids: No matter how frustrated you may feel, avoid venting to your MIL. She’s likely to respond with unsolicited advice or remind you of how wonderful your children are. Save those rants for your mom friends.
- Refrain from Criticizing Linda: This one should go without saying. Any negative comments could come back to haunt you.
- Expect Rule-Breaking During Babysitting: When Linda offers to babysit, she might not follow your guidelines. Remember, she’s doing you a favor, and she loves to spoil her grandkids. Don’t act surprised when she bends the rules!
- Keep Your Gripes About Your Husband to Yourself: If you do complain, be prepared for her to jump to Tom’s defense. Trust me, I learned this the hard way and it was a messy situation.
- Stay Neutral About Siblings-in-Law: Even if you find them annoying, avoid making negative remarks. I made a snide comment about my sister-in-law once, and Linda hasn’t let me forget it.
- Respect Her Wine Preferences: If Linda asks for a bigger glass of wine, just let her have it. It’s a small gesture of respect that goes a long way.
- Don’t Act Like the Favorite Daughter-in-Law: Even if you feel like you are, tread carefully. Your relationship with Linda could stir the pot with other sisters-in-law, so keep your enthusiasm in check when they’re around.
It might sound unconventional to have a close friendship with your mother-in-law, especially considering the horror stories we often hear. But if you’re lucky enough to have a supportive and fun MIL, embrace it! Not only might you gain a fantastic friend, but you’ll also get insights into why your spouse can be a bit quirky.
For additional insights on parenthood, check out our other posts, such as this one that dives deeper into navigating family relationships. If you’re looking to boost your fertility journey, visit Make a Mom for expert advice. And if you need helpful statistics on infertility, the CDC offers excellent resources.
Summary
Building a friendship with your mother-in-law can be a rewarding yet tricky endeavor. By following these eight guidelines, you can maintain a positive and supportive relationship. Remember to keep certain topics off-limits and always approach interactions with respect and tact to ensure a harmonious bond.