When I was pregnant with my first child, I became obsessed with preparing for the big arrival. “I’ll make a list!” I boldly proclaimed a month before my little one was set to join us. Recently, I stumbled upon that list and realized how clueless I was back then. Here’s my cringe-worthy list of things to do before the baby came:
THINGS TO DO BEFORE BABY ARRIVES:
- Prepare a hospital bag filled with snacks, makeup, music, books, and my laptop, because surely labor would last forever, just like the books said.
- Aim to have a daily two bowel movements to avoid any embarrassing moments during labor.
- Buy a new bikini and curate a playlist for a tranquil water birth experience.
- Watch more birthing videos on YouTube (because knowledge is power, right?).
- Launder all brand-new baby clothes using gentle, baby-friendly detergent.
- Wash our clothes in the same baby-friendly detergent.
- Clean all crib bedding with baby-safe soap as well.
- Call the midwife to see if I need to wash the sofa covers and muslin cloths in baby-friendly detergent too.
- Sanitize the entire house daily with antibacterial wipes until the baby arrives.
- Commit to pelvic floor exercises consistently to compensate for my earlier negligence.
- Groom my overgrown bikini line so it doesn’t cause any mishaps during delivery.
- Purchase books and DVDs to keep me entertained during maternity leave.
- Get my partner to promise not to look at the “bottom end” during labor.
- Learn how to bake a cake (or at least cookies).
- Buy a cake recipe book.
- Invest in a cake tin.
- Read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” (again).
- Work on mastering perineal massage (maybe find a tutorial on YouTube?).
- Enjoy a romantic dinner out, as we may not have the chance once the baby arrives.
- CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve finished this list! Now, take a breather and relax until the baby comes!
I never made it to number 20. In fact, I didn’t even get through number one.
“First babies are always late,” they said. “You’ll probably deliver a couple of weeks past your due date.” They were wrong.
I was happily indulging in a Big Mac (our romantic dinner) when suddenly, my water broke. My partner and I hastily stuffed clothes and diapers into a nearby grocery bag, rushed to the hospital, and before I knew it, I was in the birthing pool—my daughter arrived much quicker than I had anticipated (completely ruining my plans for perineal care).
There was no time for snacks, magazines, or my carefully curated playlist. I had no chance to slip into my fancy maternity bikini or even worry about my digestive system.
Since I thought I had at least a month left for all that cleaning, exercising, and baking, I was utterly unprepared. I took my precious newborn back to a home that hadn’t yet been disinfected (and smelled like fast food), dressed her in clothes that hadn’t been washed in baby-safe detergent, and hoped that her exit through my unkempt bikini line wouldn’t traumatize her for life.
When I was pregnant the second time, I didn’t bother with a to-do list. Managing one baby outside and another kicking away inside left me too drained to think about anything other than survival. I tossed aside all the books, skipped the baking, and definitely avoided any Big Macs.
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Summary:
Expecting a baby can be overwhelming, and the pressure to prepare can lead to unrealistic expectations. Many soon-to-be parents create extensive to-do lists filled with tasks they think are necessary before the baby arrives. However, the reality of childbirth often renders these lists moot. Embracing the chaos and understanding that not everything will go as planned can help ease the stress of impending parenthood.