As we prepared to send our eldest daughter off to college, the experience was nothing short of monumental. The days leading up to her departure were a whirlwind of emotions—nervousness, sadness, and a touch of stress. The idea of saying goodbye brought a lump to my throat, yet a part of me just wanted her to leave already so we could all start the next chapter of our lives.
Reflecting on this experience brought to mind a particular episode from the series Family Ties, where the character, Harper, is getting ready to leave for college. The portrayal of those bittersweet goodbyes resonates deeply with my own experiences, making me realize how relatable and real it all is. Here are four ways that Harper’s journey (and the creators of Family Ties) perfectly captured the essence of saying goodbye to a college freshman:
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The Warm Coat
Having spent years soaking up the sun in California, Harper was about to face her first winter on the East Coast. All her mother wanted was to buy her a warm coat. This moment symbolizes the protective nature of the mother-daughter bond: Harper was venturing into the unknown, far from the familiar comforts of home, and her mother wanted to ensure she was cozy and safe from the cold realities ahead. How many of us find ourselves scrambling through stores like Bed, Bath & Beyond or Target during those final summer weeks, eager to equip our kids for this new phase in life? -
The Family Dinner
Harper’s mother envisioned a family dinner at their favorite restaurant as a special send-off. However, Harper had other plans and preferred to spend those last hours with friends. Eventually, she agreed to the dinner, but a series of mishaps turned the evening into a comical disaster. I remember planning a family barbecue the night before my own daughter left for college. I asked my partner to grab fresh burgers from the butcher, but he insisted the frozen ones in the freezer would suffice. Spoiler alert: they didn’t! The memory of that meal still brings tears to my eyes, knowing it was supposed to be a perfect farewell but ended up being far from it. -
Staying Up Late
In one poignant moment, Harper’s mother is shown waiting up for her daughter, who was out late with friends. When asked why she was still awake, she admitted that she couldn’t sleep until Harper came home safe. I can relate to this feeling all too well, having spent many sleepless nights just to hear my daughter come home and utter a quick, “Goodnight, Mom,” before retreating to her space. -
The Final Farewell
The emotional climax comes at the airport, where Harper shares a brief hug with her parents before rushing to the security line. As they fight back tears, it becomes clear that she is stepping into her independence. Just when it seems like the moment is over, Harper turns back, and the heartfelt tears begin to flow. It’s a powerful, raw moment that perfectly encapsulates the complexity of saying goodbye.
Often, these farewells are portrayed in a picture-perfect manner on screen or through social media, but the reality is quite different. It’s not about perfectly scripted moments; it’s about the chaos and unexpected turns that come with letting go. Yet, we must remember that this goodbye isn’t the end of the story—it’s just a pause until the next family reunion during Thanksgiving or winter break.
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In summary, saying goodbye to your college freshman is an emotionally charged experience filled with heartfelt moments, chaotic mishaps, and the promise of reunions to come. It’s not just a farewell; it’s a step toward a new beginning.