As the golden morning light began to spill over the fields of Nebraska, I glanced at my kids through the rearview mirror. We were on a long road trip back to the East Coast, having set off at dawn. My daughter was peacefully asleep, while my son, now 13, caught my eye and flashed a grin. There was a time he would look back at me from a car seat, but now he said, “I’m really enjoying this adventure with you, Mom.” As we watched the sunrise together, I savored this wonderful phase of parenting teens.
Much has been said about the challenges of raising teenagers. It’s well-known that parenting teens demands an unparalleled level of patience. From eye-rolls to slamming doors, navigating conversations about relationships to managing their ever-shifting moods, motherhood during these years is not for the faint-hearted. Recently, my patience has been tested, even leading to candid discussions about dating at the dinner table. It’s exhausting and sometimes maddening—and let’s not even mention the cost of my wine habit over the years!
Yet, despite the trials, I’m finding that raising a tween and a teen is quickly becoming my favorite parenting phase, complete with all the eyerolls and stomping feet. Contrary to what I’d heard from friends about the difficulties of parenting teens, I’ve discovered that, while they may resemble mini-toddlers in some ways, I truly cherish the unique moments we share as they transition into adulthood.
As kids mature, parents can finally breathe a sigh of relief. No more battles over bedtime or constant demands for help—teens can make their own sandwiches, tie their own shoes, and take showers without assistance. Sure, they come with their own set of challenges, and the eye-rolling can be incessant, but life with teens is undeniably more manageable. The day I realized my daughter could reach the kitchen cabinets and I no longer had to tackle the dishwasher myself was a day worth celebrating!
Of course, I sometimes find myself longing for the days of footie pajamas and soft baby curls after a bath. I’ll catch a glimpse of an old baby photo on social media (thanks, On This Day app), and I feel a pang of nostalgia for story time and Mommy and Me classes. However, I quickly remind myself that my house is no longer filled with the sounds of temper tantrums or jingling toys that make me want to reach for a drink. Snuggling on the couch while introducing my kids to my favorite ’80s movies? I wouldn’t trade that for anything!
Yes, teens can be tough, and there are days when they test every ounce of your patience. But there’s a sweet spot around ages 12 and 13 when I wish I could freeze time. They’re too young to drive off to parties yet too mature for playdates. During this phase, they actually want to spend time with us, enjoying that feeling of being grown-up. I’ve learned so much about their lives simply by sharing a game night and a bowl of ice cream. With more relaxed routines and years of parenting experience behind me, I find myself eager to listen to their stories and share in their laughter.
In those delightful moments, amid my daughter’s sighs that suggest I’m out of touch and my son’s claims that I’m being ridiculous for enforcing screen time limits, I feel grateful that the toddler years are behind us. I relish the opportunity to expose my kids to art and culture while revealing my true self to them, making the teenage years a rewarding experience. I could do without the eye-rolling, but for the most part, I’m soaking up the joy of witnessing their personalities blossom and the adults they are becoming.
As we continued our drive through Nebraska, the sun brightened, and the clouds turned a vibrant pink hue. My daughter stirred just as a Bon Jovi song came on the radio. My son shouted, “Turn it up, Mom!” and as we all sang along, I cherished the sound of their changing voices, thankful that they don’t roll their eyes when it comes to classic rock.
In summary, while parenting teens comes with its challenges, it also offers a unique sweetness that makes it a truly fulfilling experience.