I kindly ask you to refrain from asking my children about their origins.
My son, Amir, carries a name that resonates with our cultural heritage, yet he doesn’t speak Arabic. He was born in Australia (though I was not), and he can recite lines from the Quran while also nailing every step of the latest dance craze. He embodies a beautiful blend of cultures, and I take immense pride in that. I wish to avoid pigeonholing my children and hope the world does too.
Frequently, well-intentioned strangers approach Amir with the question, “Where are you from?” I label them as “well-meaning” in an effort to stay positive, but it’s becoming increasingly frustrating.
What’s Wrong with the Question?
You may wonder, what’s wrong with such a straightforward question? The issue is that no matter how he responds, it never seems to satisfy the inquisitor. If he says, “Australia,” he’s met with raised eyebrows—likely due to my hijab and his olive skin and dark hair. If he says “Lebanon,” his answer is often followed by, “So when did you move to Australia?” His response is always, “I was born here,” which leads to yet another round of uncomfortable and probing questions. Just stop. Please.
A Recent Awkward Interaction
Recently, I had a particularly awkward interaction. At my children’s sports day, a mother I didn’t know approached me and asked, “Are you Emma’s mom?” I replied, “Yes, I’m Leila, and you are?” She then said, “But you wear a hijab! And Emma is so bright and speaks English so well.” (I had to pick my jaw up off the floor.) I responded, “Yes, she’s quite talented. She hasn’t caught hijabitis.”
Why should my daughter’s abilities be overshadowed by my choice of attire? It’s perplexing how, even in 2023, our first impressions are often based on appearances. Everyone has a unique story, some more complex than others, but all are worth sharing. My children’s narrative might be intricate, and I don’t want Amir to feel pressured to articulate it like this: “I’m from Australia. I was born here, and so was my dad. My mum wasn’t, but she came here with her family when she was three, so it’s practically like she was born here. Would you like to see our citizenship papers? Oh, and thanks for complimenting my English skills; being Muslim doesn’t mean my language skills are any less effective.”
In contrast, Amir’s friend Jake, who was born in Ireland, never faces such questions. I suspect it’s because his name and features fit the “norm” in Australia. This creates an unfair environment for my son, and one day he’ll notice this disparity. I won’t have a logical explanation to offer him.
Teaching Respect and Belonging
For now, I will continue to teach my children about the richness of every individual’s journey. I aim to show them that life is a multifaceted experience. I will instill in them that they deserve respect based on their actions. I will tell them they belong to planet Earth and are part of Team Humanity.
If you’re interested in learning more about various family-building options, including home insemination techniques, check out this excellent resource on in vitro fertilisation. Also, for more information on artificial insemination kits, visit Cryobaby.
Conclusion
In summary, let’s celebrate the diverse narratives that make up our world instead of trying to categorize them.