In the modern age of parenting, a fascinating trend has emerged: new parents are taking their little ones to concerts featuring the bands they loved before children entered the picture. This family concert phenomenon is part of a broader cultural shift that includes family-friendly spaces like restaurants with “Family Tables” and movie theaters hosting Baby Nights. To fully enjoy these experiences, parents often rely on a kind of hopeful imagination reminiscent of punk rock fans from the ’70s: “If I just close my eyes and pretend hard enough, maybe I’ll forget that I have to change a diaper between acts.”
When I shared this trend with my friend Margaret, a spirited woman in her sixties with adult children, she exclaimed, “Good grief! One more way for parents to bond that I could do without.”
I wholeheartedly support parents taking a night off, making concert-going seem like a special, grown-up adventure for their kids. It can serve as one of those milestones that parents point to, saying, “You’re not there yet, but if you finish those green beans and study for your spelling test, one day you will be.”
There’s value in introducing children to music through a more organic approach, where parents play their favorite tunes at home and kids pick up the vibe naturally. I’ve lost count of how many musicians have mentioned, “Mom and Dad always had Johnny Cash on in the background, which is why my songwriting has that slow, steady bass line.” Quality music is akin to good nutrition; you provide it, but ultimately, it’s up to your child to engage.
In fact, I worry that if you cling too tightly to your musical preferences, your child might rebel against them. This risk is even higher if your tastes are particularly refined. During the rebellious teenage years, a child who has been inundated with your love for Tom Petty and classic hip-hop may very well embrace the pop sounds of Ke$ha instead.
When my daughter, Lucy, was in fifth grade, we had the chance to see the beloved band Crowded House at the Fillmore Auditorium in San Francisco—a venue steeped in rock history. Lucy expressed interest in joining me, and I agreed, partly because I had overheard her humming along to tracks from their album “Together Alone” while studying, and partly so she could have a great story to tell about her first concert.
Let’s be honest; I also hoped that having my little sidekick might catch the band’s attention. After all, when your potential concert souvenirs are no longer delicate lace but rather practical packs from Costco, creativity becomes essential.
On a surprisingly warm spring evening, we made our way across the Bay Bridge from Oakland to San Francisco, eagerly lining up for the general admission show. At just under 4’ 10”, Lucy was concerned about being overwhelmed by the crowd. Having attended numerous shows myself, I reassured her that the average Crowded House fan is around 49 years old, sporting Dansko clogs and a commitment to environmental causes. The friendly nature of the crowd was evident as we approached; Lucy received smiles, greetings, and even high-fives from fellow fans.
Memorable Moments from Lucy’s First Concert Experience
While waiting for the opening act, we struck up conversations with fellow concertgoers, standing a few bodies back from the security barrier. A couple of fifth-grade teachers spotted Lucy and invited her to join them at the front for a better view.
Once at the front, a security guard approached and asked if Lucy would prefer to sit down for the show. He then offered her a padded folding chair in the space between the barrier and the stage. As the lights dimmed and Crowded House took the stage, Lucy donned her bright purple earplugs, slipped around the barrier, and settled comfortably just three feet from the band.
Midway through the concert, as the excitement and warmth of the audience filled the air, the same security guard reached up to grab a water bottle from guitarist Mark Hart and handed it to Lucy. Despite being in the middle of a complex riff from “Locked Out,” Mark managed to wink at Lucy as she enjoyed his water.
As the show neared its end, our friendly security guard advised, “Don’t leave yet!” and disappeared into the crowd. When he returned, he handed Lucy a rolled-up concert poster with a grin, saying, “We’re not supposed to give these out!”
As we prepared to leave, reluctantly exiting between encores on a school night, an older gentleman with a laminated pass approached us. “Here you go, kid,” he said, presenting my daughter with a backstage pass. “For a keepsake!”
That’s the risk of sharing your musical passions too tightly with your child; one day, your dreams may become their reality.
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In summary, sharing your love for music with your children can create cherished memories and valuable experiences. Finding the right balance between introducing them to your tastes and allowing them to explore their own preferences is key to fostering a lifelong appreciation for music.