Updated: August 26, 2019
Originally Published: December 10, 2011
“I stepped back from my role at work.”
This candid revelation came from a friend one sunny afternoon as we kept up with our little ones at the beach. Having shared our college journey nearly 12 years ago, we now both juggle full-time careers. Her words resonated deeply with my own experience of reassessing my career path—many women in our generation are, in fact, choosing to step back.
Should I push forward, take a break, go part-time, or stay home altogether? The deluge of advice on what mothers should do is overwhelming. There are countless articles, books, and blog posts dissecting the “working mom versus stay-at-home mom” debate. It seems like everyone has an opinion on the right choice, the wrong choice, and how each will affect our futures. The noise can be maddening, especially with so many diverse perspectives suggesting there’s a one-size-fits-all answer.
Before I became a mother, I was blissfully unaware of this divide. I had no inkling that such a topic would inspire heated discussions, guilt, and even feelings of superiority among women. I certainly didn’t anticipate my social media feeds would be flooded with links, articles, and posts questioning my own decisions.
Just hours after welcoming my son, Leo, I was asked, “Are you going back to work?”
“Yes, I am,” I confidently replied. At that moment, I believed it wholeheartedly.
My career began in the non-profit sector. Although the pay was modest, I found my passion in fundraising. By 29, I had achieved my goal of becoming a director at a university. While the environment wasn’t ideal, I was proud of my accomplishments, which were the result of hard work, strategic choices, and a leap of faith. I had my sights set on a VP role.
Then, everything changed when Leo came home.
Upon returning to work after a three-month maternity leave, I noticed Leo regressed. He would cry inconsolably when I picked him up from daycare—a loud, heart-wrenching cry that shattered me. It felt like all our bonding efforts were slipping through my fingers, and I couldn’t bear it.
I resigned from my director position without hesitation.
Those two years spent at home and later transitioning to part-time were both the most rewarding and challenging years of my life. I cherish every moment I had with Leo, and I have no regrets about that choice.
When I made my decision, some friends—moms themselves—expressed, “I value my independence too much to leave my career.” Their words implied that my choice made me dependent, diminishing the vital role stay-at-home parents play.
I returned to full-time work last year, and both Leo and I were ready for it. I had been feeling lost, and returning to my job was a breath of fresh air. Within weeks, I regained my confidence and sense of balance.
However, I didn’t return to my previous role as a director. I had been offered that position again but realized I had changed. I desired summer hours, Fridays off in July, and the ability to take sick days without the weight of leadership responsibilities. I craved flexibility.
My husband, Mark, continues to work the demanding job that supports our family. His role comes with less flexibility and longer hours, often at the expense of his time with both Leo and me. Sometimes I find myself envious of his career progression, title, and salary, but I remind myself of the sacrifices he makes, and I feel grateful for his support.
I’m uncertain when—or if—I’ll fully return to my original career path. I’ve started to entertain the possibility of pursuing writing professionally, but that’s still a distant dream. There are days when I miss the authority and decision-making, but I appreciate working with wonderful colleagues in a fun environment, doing something I genuinely enjoy.
On summer weekdays, when I’m pushing Leo on a swing or picking blueberries, I realize those moments are irreplaceable. I have no regrets about choosing to step back.
I don’t miss being a director at all.
For those navigating similar paths, you can find more insights in this article about home insemination, which touches on various family planning journeys. Additionally, if you’re interested in fertility resources, check out this excellent guide on intrauterine insemination.
Summary
In this article, Samantha shares her journey of redefining her career after becoming a mother. Initially poised to climb the corporate ladder, she chose to step back to prioritize her family during crucial early years. While she grappled with societal pressures and personal expectations, she ultimately found fulfillment in her decisions. The piece highlights the importance of embracing one’s choices and cherishing precious moments with loved ones.