Once upon a time, New Year’s Eve was my favorite celebration. But now, with two little ones in tow, I find myself dreading it, especially when I think of the all-night parties I used to enjoy. Here’s a humorous look at what New Year’s Eve looks like for parents.
- Finding a Babysitter: Good luck securing a sitter without having planned months in advance. Unless you booked one in July, your chances of landing a high schooler to watch your kids are slim. And if you do find one, expect them to charge you an arm and a leg once they sense your desperation.
- Wardrobe Dilemmas: You might find yourself staring into your closet, contemplating whether it’s socially acceptable to pair that sparkly top with yoga pants. After all, who will really notice, right? Wrong.
- Exhaustion by 9 PM: By 9 PM, you’re already feeling drained, but you know you have to keep the party spirit alive for a few more hours. Trying to appear lively and engaged can be more tiring than childbirth itself.
- The Resolution Question: You’ll inevitably be asked about your New Year’s resolutions, and you might secretly think that “survival” is your only goal. Other unspoken resolutions might include losing the baby weight from 12 years ago, being kinder to your spouse, and attempting to finally get your life organized.
- The Cost of Celebration: Understanding the “Rule of 120” becomes real. You could easily spend $120 on a babysitter, another $120 on dinner for two, $120 on drinks, and a late-night pizza run for $47. The next morning, you’ll wonder what you could’ve spent that money on instead.
- Out with Childless Friends: When you go out with friends who don’t have kids, you’ll quickly realize just how much more energy they possess. It’s hard not to feel a twinge of jealousy knowing they can sleep in until noon if they wish.
- Out with Fellow Parents: If you’re with other parents, expect one of two scenarios: Either you’ll spend the night discussing your kids and regret not staying home, or you’ll end up in a “Moms Gone Wild” situation where you try to make up for lost time, leaving your partner wishing he’d stayed at home.
- Midnight Fireworks: As the clock strikes midnight and the fireworks start, you might find yourself threatening your husband that if they wake the kids, you’ll go a bit “mom crazy” on the culprits.
- Regrettable Social Media Posts: Those 12:03 AM selfies on Facebook? Yeah, let’s just say that was a questionable decision.
- Early Wake-Up Calls: No matter how late you stay up or how much champagne you consume, you can bet your kids will wake up at the crack of dawn. It’s like they have a built-in alarm clock.
- Morning Struggles: You’ll need coffee and pain relief, but of course, you’ll find yourself out of one, if not both. At that moment, you might just consider trading your firstborn for a large coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts—extra cream, extra sugar, extra survival.
- Mom Guilt: The next day, after realizing how much you spent and how awful you feel, you’ll long for the cozy comfort of snuggling with your kids while enjoying sparkling cider and calling it a night by 9:15 PM.
- Noisemakers Galore: Those annoying New Year’s noisemakers your kids play with? Expect them to stick around for months, only to be tossed out in frustration come April.
- Planning for Next Year: By the time the next New Year’s Eve rolls around, you’ll have your excuse ready: “Sorry, we’ll be staying in. We couldn’t find a sitter. But have fun! I’m so jealous!”
Here’s the silver lining: After becoming a parent, you realize that the best place to be on New Year’s Eve is wherever you feel most comfortable. Sometimes, that means being at home with your family, possibly in your yoga pants.
Cheers to a new year filled with surviving parenthood, embracing our beautiful bodies, being kinder to our partners (at least in the morning), and maybe even getting our lives together—whatever that means. And if not, there’s always next year to try again!
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Summary: New Year’s Eve can be a challenging experience for parents, filled with the search for sitters, wardrobe struggles, and the exhaustion of keeping up appearances. While it’s tempting to yearn for the carefree days of partying, many find that the comfort of home with family is the ultimate joy.