In my journey as a mother, I’ve found myself bending the truth with my son. For instance, when I promise him ice cream the next day, I often let the moment slip away. When tomorrow rolls around, he forgets to ask, and I don’t remind him, knowing it could spoil his dinner. By the time he remembers, we’ve passed the ice cream shop, and he ends up with a healthy meal instead. A little fib for his benefit, I suppose.
Then there are those evenings when I declare that if he doesn’t sleep soon, I’ll go to bed without him. The reality is that no one is getting any rest until he does! But the thought of not having me nearby as he drifts off is enough to coax him into sleep. I use a little scare tactic—call it a necessary evil in parenting. I know I’m not the only parent who resorts to such measures; sometimes, you have to do what you must.
And yes, I’ve told him that Santa will deliver gifts this year, a tale I’ll likely keep spinning for a while. I’ll even have conversations about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy in the future. These are little white lies I can live with. However, there’s one statement I refuse to make: “You can be anything you want to be.”
While I understand that this phrase is often meant to inspire and motivate, I believe it can set unrealistic expectations. I wholeheartedly believe in my son; I’m his mom and his biggest supporter. But the truth is, he can’t do anything he wants. Every person has their own limitations, and he is no exception.
Not everyone has the aptitude to excel in every field. For example, not everyone can perform surgery due to a shaky hand. Some individuals might lack the patience required to teach, while others simply may not fit into the cockpit of a fighter jet. That’s just how life works.
What I do want is for my son to explore his interests and test his abilities. If he wants to participate in the school spelling bee despite struggling with “cat,” I’ll encourage him to try and support his preparation. If he wishes to join the band or choir, I’ll cheer him on, even if he has trouble hitting the right notes. And if he wants to play various sports, from football to tennis, I’ll be there to enroll him and take him to practice, regardless of his throwing skills.
I’ll do everything I can to help him improve in whatever he chooses, as long as he remains committed to trying. He can aim to be the pitcher every year, but there may come a point when he realizes pitching for a school team isn’t in the cards for him. And that’s perfectly acceptable. I want him to understand that not all dreams are achievable, and that doesn’t equate to failure; it simply means he’s human. Like everyone else, he will have strengths and weaknesses.
Currently, my son is just a toddler, and I can’t predict his future—how strong he’ll be, how tall he might grow, or what passions he’ll discover. I don’t know if he’ll thrive in a spotlight or prefer to stay out of it. I have no idea whether he’ll gravitate towards sports or academics. What I do know is that I won’t mislead him. If a dream doesn’t align with his physical or personal capabilities, I’ll be honest about it.
Because I’m his mom, and that’s a truth I can’t compromise.
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