I recently bumped into a familiar face at school. As we hurried through the hallway, she cheerfully exclaimed, “I can’t wait for your book to come out—excited!?”
“Absolutely!” was the response she likely anticipated. After all, who wouldn’t be thrilled about a book launch? It’s akin to asking “how are you?” and expecting the standard “I’m fine.”
But, as it turns out, I have a tendency to overshare. And truthfully, I was more of a bundle of nerves than a ball of excitement.
“Excited? Well, that’s not quite the right word,” I admitted, dropping my bag with a thud. “Honestly, I’m in full-on panic mode.”
“What if the sales are dismal? What if my words don’t resonate? What if no one wants to help promote it? What if critics tear it to shreds? What if my publisher is let down by the performance? What if I embarrass myself during promotions? What if I blank out at a reading?”
Taking a deep breath, I continued, “I know, I know, it’s amazing that I even wrote a book, and I should just savor the moment. Who cares if it doesn’t succeed? I’ll be okay, right? But I just can’t seem to enjoy it. I don’t know why—it’s a mess.”
I leaned against the wall for a moment, gathering my thoughts. “I guess I am excited, but there are so many other feelings swirling around. This pressure is so new to me, and it’s rather intimidating. I mean—”
Suddenly, my acquaintance interrupted, fumbling for her silent phone. “Oh no, I think I heard a ring. It must be important! Good luck!” With that, she hurried off, likely sharing tales of a “very important” emergency with someone else, leaving me feeling like the crazy person in the hall. I wouldn’t be surprised if she switched pre-schools to dodge future encounters with me. Can’t say I blame her!
The Takeaway
The takeaway? If you ask how I feel about my upcoming book, be prepared for a real conversation. And trust me, you might not want to know.
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Conclusion
In summary, while the anticipation of my book release comes with a wave of excitement, it’s also shadowed by anxiety. The journey of writing is just the beginning, and navigating this emotional rollercoaster is part of the experience.